Is Casual Sex Really Casual?

IS CASUAL SEX REALLY CASUAL?

Look, I’m not telling you to stop having fun, or denying the power you might feel after seduction or the affirming qualities casual sex.
Since the free love era of the 70s, casual sex has been dressed up as “freedom.”
And I’m all for sexual expression and freedom. Afterall, it’s your body and woman fought hard for sexual emancipation.

But I cannot help wonder if we lost something in this process. Something deep and primal and sacred.
We have created a world where sex is free, men don’t have to chase women, and our bodies are just vehicles for empty pleasure.

But perhaps you will find that you lose something each time you rock that casual encounter, your value to yourself. Sex has become performative, and this is partly due to the porn culture, but also due to our own desires to impress.

You might find yourself feeling less, and putting up with more BS. Swopping crumbs of affection for real depth and presence.
Confusing real intimacy for performance.

You brush off that feeling of being ghosted the morning after, as a sign of independence. Afterall, you don’t need a man.

The thing is, women and men are not wired the same. You might overthink a one-night stand for the rest of your life, while he won’t lose a second’s sleep over it. And chances are you’ll regret it once you realise he didn’t satisfy your soul, your need for connection. He didn’t even satisfy your body…how could he when he didn’t take the time to get to know you first?

It’s time to stop giving your womb away to men who are not worthy of your creative source.
That feeling of being wild and free was delicious, and it’s your body, you can do what you want. But how did it really feel in the afterglow? Were you fullfilled or perhaps a bit emptier than you were before the hook up?

You see, women are not like men. You’ll bond emotionally with a man you barely know, if he does call, riding high on that oxytocin train. The chemicals tricking you into believing lust can become love.
And here you are a year later, pair bonding with Mr. Wrong because those chemicals keep you from getting your head on straight.

Perhaps the true rebellion these days is being the one who doesn’t give it away for free.

Being the one who holds herself and her true partner to a higher standard. Going after what you want in the endgame, rather than what you want right now.
Because it’s easy to get caught up in the dating game, feeling chosen when you were actually just using each other. Competing with all the other readily available women to be with an unworthy man. Better grab him quick, before he swipes left! Perhaps out of fear of rejection or of being alone.

Sure it will be fun once or twice, you’ve proved you’ve still got it. And that can be a powerful and much needed thing after a divorce or break up.
But how can this path lead to anything but self devaluation in the long term? It’s time to start looking inward for validation and love, before you out source these qualities to unworthy partners.

And if he stays after that feisty fling?
Here is the irony. He will always wonder if you’re a keeper, because you let him touch you too soon. The double standard still exists in the minds of men. You were easy to catch and now he is not sure of your value, or if you will be easily available to other men too. Even though that man was him. Cute, huh?

So learn to love a man who is worthy of your many gifts. One who recognises them and will pursue you and earn your body.
Somebody who will connect with you, heart to heart and soul to soul before your bodies merge. And then you will experience sex as a transformative and magical experience. The kind that uplifts you both, that transcends this earthly plane.

Perhaps the biggest flex in todays society is to wait. Know your rarity and protect your soul, your spirit, your temple.
It’s your life and you get to choose how you want to live it. So make it a good choice, first let him prove he can hold your heart, before you let him hold your hips.

You can manifest the life you desire, and you can start today.

I’m available for life coaching, relationship coaching & wellness coaching.

You can book on WhatsApp 0833613255.

#casualsex #lifecoach #fling #onenightstand