Only You Get To Decide Your Worth

Tog: Marthinus Odendaal, Model: Candice Storm

ONLY YOU GET TO DECIDE YOUR WORTH

I have had complete strangers attack me on Facebook, simply because I wore a dress with a plunging neckline.
‘eeeuw, put those away’
‘get a boob job’
‘ou tannie het mooi tiette’
(Old aunty has nice tits)

I’ve been called sour milk, told I have a high opinion of myself, and that I’m going to hell for tattooing my body. But also gorgeous, beautiful and some other lovely words.

So which is it?

Do I need a boob job ur do I have nice tits? Do I look hot or like an old lady?
The answer is: their opinion doesn’t matter. (And also being ‘hot’ does not have an age limit.)

I admit I allowed these men to get under my skin, I am only human.
But yes, these comments designed to degrade women are telling us who they are. Not who we are.

They know exactly how to hit you where it hurts…your age, your boobs…and this is exactly why women spend so much on aesthetics. Because we buy into this mysoginistic model that a woman’s worth is tied to her age and her looks.

As women, we need to somehow not take it to heart. And that can be the work of a lifetime. Letting go of trying to please people with our looks. Even trying to please other women with how we dress. And of course, trying to please ourselves too, as we are so super-critical of how we look.

So…why do we care what complete strangers think anyway? I can’t answer that one clearly yet, but it does still affect me, and it’s something I am working through.

Likewise, even the people you know and care about do not get to decide your value. Not your family, not your friends, and definitely not your romantic partner. As women, we need to get to that point where only we can do that for ourselves.

Wear a pretty dress with a plunging neckline or whatever because it makes us feel good. And to hell with what other people, who seem to believe we are dressing for them, think.

You are brave and beautiful in your own unique way. You have survived being overlooked, insulted, judged… and you are right when you realise that only you get to decide your worth.

I am a holistic life coach & wellness coach, registered traditional doctor with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
T/DR Candice Baker
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You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
+0027833613255

“Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”