Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: dating

  • #Me Too

    #ME TOO

    There is a lot of media attention on Sexual Assault lately and I would like to add my voice to this.

    Me Too.

    I was in a hotel room alone in Zimbabwe, on a charter flight for the airline I was working for.
    I had just gotten out of the bath after a long day on my feet and was swathed in a fluffy hotel gown.
    I sat on the bed, made a cup of tea and decided to call home, as I was missing my husband.

    I struggled to make the international call, so I called the reception and they said they would send someone up to assist with the dial out and international codes.

    I can almost hear every woman reading this holding their breath, anticipating the worst.
    I opened the door and a Zimbabwean male was standing there. I greeted him in a friendly manner and he grabbed me. He smiled at me, kissed me and got his hands under my gown.

    I pulled away in shock and asked him to fix my dialling issue and leave.
    So he backed off, fixed the dialling issue and left. The atmosphere was thick with tension and I can almost feel every woman reading this exhale. Situation handled.

    A number of things happened here which I would like to reflect on.

    My first thought was that I was ‘lucky’
    He stopped when I pulled away. I didn’t get 🍇. What a travesty that women are taught to consider themselves lucky for not being 🍇

    He respected my NO, even though he crossed a boundary to begin with and disrespected my politeness. He was possibly confused by my attire. I found myself making excuses for HIS behaviour. For the fantasy that was playing out in his head. For the porn he was probably watching.

    Further along this thought process was, ‘I should have changed out of the gown.’ Really? Aside from the fact that a gown pretty much covers you from neck to toe? I should have climbed out of the bath and put on my airline uniform in order make a call in my own room. And then taken it off again to go to bed. Ridiculous and only something a woman would ever have to think about.

    And then we come to the entitlement that some men feel towards womans bodies. He came to my room on a work errand. Saw a pretty lady in a gown and instantly assumed this was a booty call. No pleasantries, just launched into a grope-fest with zero consent.

    And the worst part? My nervous system went into freeze mode. I didn’t kick him out. I didn’t rage. I didn’t even report the incident. After he did this, I was even more desperate to phone home, so I still asked him to sort out the dial codes before he left. Which he did, thankfully leaving after with no further incident. (There we go again with the gratitude. What the actual f#$!)
    The truth is I put myself at even greater risk, just because I was desperate to phone home.

    I have noticed that my memory is very cloudy about this incident. Partly because it was a long time ago, when hotel rooms still had phones. Before WhatsApp calls were a thing. But every trauma I have faced has become very hazy. It’s a defence mechanism. If I had been asked to testify, it would have been a problem. And this is something many victims face in a courtroom. A lack of memory for details. Something used to discredit them.

    In writing this piece, I have become painfully aware of how many excuses I made for this man. Just the way society had taught me to. Right down to the self blame regarding what I was wearing.

    I would have handled it differently this time, with more rage and consequence. I would have shouted at him, shoved him and called his manager. It probably would have backfired right there in the room with a now angry man.

    I have also returned from parties twice with no memory. Luckily with friends and partners who were safe. (There we go again with the gratitude for not being drugged and sexually assaulted.)
    Although now that the Motherless site has been exposed it might not be possible for a woman to know, I could have been assaulted by a partner. I do not believe any of my partners were ‘into’ having sex with unconscious women, but then who does?

    As a society we need to do better. We need to create a world where women are safe and criminal behaviour is policed.
    A world where men’s entitlement is corrected rather than the woman’s attire.
    Victim blaming is an empty arguement, women have been assaulted in their tracksuits and babies don’t own sexy outfits.

    It’s time to lay the blame where it belongs and teach our boys differently. It’s time to police the perpetrators and not the victims.

    And if you find yourself justifying any of this kind of behaviour, if you find yourself thinking ‘at least she wasn’t 🍇’, it’s time to look inward to the values you have unconsciously integrated.

    It’s time to do better.

    And if you’re a man reading this and you have a #MeToo story, my sympathies go out to you. Sexual assault works both ways but this post is not about your experience, it’s about mine.

    I am a holistic life coach & wellness coach, registered traditional doctor with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Polarity Isn’t Progress

    POLARITY ISN’T PROGRESS

    Polarity is a reaction to feminism. A reset for the idea that a woman can (and should) do everything by herself. There is a lot of talk on the Internet about polarity, especially in the Manosphere. This concept of how a woman should think and act does not take into account personal traits and preferences. What she should expect from her life, what her role is in society applies a blanket rule for all.

    And how alpha /real men are providers, again ignoring personality types and individual differences. Hell, half the men I’ve seen online are in their princess era! Some are body builders and some wear makeup, and some do both.
    When you try to squeeze an entire gender into one small box, it all gets really toxic really fast.

    Everybody is different, we are all unique individuals, yes…even the ‘females’, as the Manosphere likes to refer to us as. There is no one-size-fits-all in human relationships or psychology. Not even from an evolutionary or cultural perspective, where some societies are matriarchal and some are patriarchal. Where Amazon’s were warriors and men were subservient while other societies cast women into the submissive role.

    So let’s turn gender bias on its ass for a second. Some women like to provide, and some men like to stay at home and take care of the family. Some women are body builders and some men are ultra-fem. And that’s ok!
    Women are gender policed because they are too strong, too muscular, too independent. Or too sexy, too promiscuous, too independant. Men are policed too, because they are too soft, too feminine, too simp, too homo, too alpha.

    While men are encouraged to integrate their feminine side in some circles, women who embrace their masculine side are criticised in others. We are called bitch, butch, scary, liberated. They are called conscious, enlightened, or homo. It depends who you ask.

    How about we take each person as an individual, in a world where variety is interesting and even entertaining?
    Calling a strong woman butch or a soft man a simp is a form of bullying I have encountered a few times in my life, and I found it to be really upsetting.

    After some thought and some insightful chats to other strong women, I have come to realize something I already knew on an intellectual level. I just needed to remove the emotional sting. Return the energy to sender. Accept and love the path that I have chosen, or change it for my own reasons.

    *At the end of the day, we should all be striving to integrate elements of our opposite gender to be better balanced humans.
    *People who shame others are doing it out of their own insecurities.
    *Body shaming is just a form of gender stereotyping and bullying, don’t ever feel the need to fit into anybody’s mould.
    *Rise above comments that do not deserve a response.
    *People who are trying to pull you down are already below you.

    Let’s pack away these ridiculous boxes and try to not be kak humans, ok?

    I am a holistic life coach & wellness coach, registered traditional doctor with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Goddess Rising

    Image by Ken Lovell, Model Mermaid Storm

    GODDESS RISING

    The Goddess Was Never Pure.
    Somewhere along the way, a woman’s worth became entangled with the idea of purity.
    Untouched. Unclaimed. Unmarked.
    But if we look back—before modern shame, before rigid moral codes, before the policing of women’s bodies—we find something radically different.
    We find goddesses, and they were never pure.
    They were sensual, desiring, expressive, embodied. They loved deeply, often, and freely. Their sexuality was not a stain on their divinity—it was an extension of it. It was creative force. It was life itself.
    The ancient feminine was not revered for restraint. She was revered for power.
    She was the lover and the creator. The seductress and the destroyer. The one who felt everything and withheld nothing.
    She was whole.

    The Invention of “Purity”
    Purity, as we understand it today, is not an ancient truth. It is a social construct—one that emerged as systems of control over women’s bodies became more rigid.
    A woman’s sexuality became something to regulate.
    To contain.
    To measure.
    Her value became tied to what she had not done, rather than who she was.
    Virginity became currency. Modesty became morality. Desire became danger.
    And slowly, the narrative shifted:
    From “She is divine because she embodies life”
    To “She is worthy only if she remains untouched.”

    The Modern Contradiction.
    Today, women live inside a paradox.
    Their bodies are everywhere—advertised, stylized, filtered, sold. Sexuality is used to market everything from perfume to protein shakes. Entire industries are built on the consumption of the female form.
    And yet-
    The same woman who is desired can be diminished.
    The woman who expresses her sexuality openly can be judged.
    The woman who profits from her body can be dehumanized.
    She is told:
    Be desirable, but not experienced.
    Be sexy, but not sexual.
    Be wanted, but not wanting.
    And if she crosses that invisible line—if she owns her desire instead of performing it—her worth is questioned.

    The Goddess in the “Impure”
    What if we rejected this entirely?
    What if we remembered that a woman does not lose her divinity through experience?
    That her body is not something that can be “used up”?
    That desire does not diminish her—it animates her?
    A woman who has loved many times is not less sacred.
    A woman who has explored her sexuality is not less worthy.
    A woman working within the sex trade is not less human, less deserving of dignity, less divine.
    She is still a body that feels.
    A heart that knows.
    A soul that exists beyond the projections placed upon her.

    Reclaiming the Sacred Body
    To see yourself as a goddess is not about perfection, it’s about modern feminism.
    It is not about purity.
    It is about sovereignty.
    It is about returning to the truth that your body is yours—not a moral scoreboard, not a commodity for judgment, not a thing to be ranked or reduced.
    Your body is an instrument of experience.
    A vessel of sensation.
    A living expression of life force.
    And life force does not ask for permission to be worthy.

    Before shame was taught, pleasure was natural.
    Before bodies were controlled, they were celebrated.
    Before purity was demanded, women were simply… powerful.
    This is not about rejecting sexuality.
    It is about reclaiming it from systems that distort it.
    It is about seeing yourself—not through the lens of judgment—but through the ancient remembering:
    That the goddess was never untouched.
    She was alive.
    And that aliveness is your birthright.

    I am a life coach, relationship coach and registered traditional doctor.
    You can send me a WhatsApp to book a session with me.
    083 263 5569

  • How The 777 Rule Can Save Your Relationship

    HOW THE 777 RULE CAN SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

    How the 777 Rule can save your relationship 💓

    Most relationships go through difficult patches, uninspired patches, emotional lows. The 777 rule is a relationship framework designed to keep marriages or long-term partnerships strong by prioritizing intentional quality time.

    So if you’re feeling unexcited, uninspired or disconnected from your partner, why not try the 777 rule? The first step is to have a discussion about it to avoid disappointment and make sure you’re on the same page. Be honest about your feelings and needs, the room mate phase can be brutal if one of you is feeling rejected or unappreciated.

    It consists of three habits:
    Every 7 days have a date night
    Every 7 weeks take a night away
    Every 7 months plan a romantic getaway. This structure helps couples reconnect, break routines, and maintain intimacy.

    Core Components of the 777 Rule:
    Every 7 Days (Date Night): Regular, uninterrupted time together. It does not need to be expensive or out of the house; it can be a “table time” chat, a movie night, or a meal without distractions.

    Every 7 Weeks (Overnight Trip): A mini-getaway such as a night in a local hotel or a weekend camping trip, to step away from daily responsibilities.

    Every 7 Months (Vacation): A more extended trip to focus entirely on each other, providing a deeper chance for connection, adventure, or relaxation.

    The 777 rule tackles the lack of time that can cause relationships to fade by making togetherness a consistent, scheduled priority. It also gives the male partner the opportunity to take the lead in building intimacy in the relationship, something the woman usually craves and reaches for.

    It is designed to be flexible, focusing on the intention of connecting, rather than strict, expensive, or complex plans. Quality time which can encourage a deeper connection emotionally and physically.

    Above all else, keep the lines of communication open. Make sure you are both on board, it can be very disappointing if your partner fails to follow through on date night. Perhaps discuss taking turns to ‘treat’ one another. A lack of quality time is one of the easiest things to repair if both of you are willing, and it will bring great rewards to your relationship.

    I am a holistic Life Coach, traditional Doctor and Relationship Coach.
    Get in touch with me to book a session on my WhatsApp line.
    +27 83 263 5569

    “Your most inspired life is crafted element by element”

  • Practical Steps To Make Your Wife Feel Seen.

    PRACTICAL STEPS TO MAKE YOUR WIFE FEEL SEEN.

    There has been a shift in mindset, when it comes to how a man should show up in a marriage or partnership.
    The old view was to work hard to provide money. But with women also working, the dynamic in a dual income home has shifted towards the quality of your interactions.
    The new view center’s around working hard to provide financially, but also to provide emotional safety and offer personal time and energy at home.


    A working man can show effort for his wife by focusing on proactive partnership, consistent communication, and intentional presence, rather than relying solely on financial provision. True effort involves alleviating her mental and physical load through shared household responsibilities, consistent emotional support, and small, daily acts of kindness that show she is a priority. Many women are living in survival mode, and their nervous system requires a soft place to emotionally relax.

    Proactive Shared Responsibility.
    Instead of “helping” as if the home is her responsibility, take ownership of chores.
    -Anticipate Needs: Tackle tasks without being asked, such as washing dishes, doing laundry, or taking out the trash, especially if you notice she is overwhelmed.
    -Manage the “Mental Load”: Take initiative on tasks like scheduling appointments, planning family events, or managing finances.
    -Cook or Handle Meals: Actively take over cooking or meal preparation to give her a break, and clean up after.
    -Daily Maintenance: Clean up after yourself immediately to prevent the buildup of clutter.

    Emotional Presence and Support
    -Show that you are her teammate in life, not just a visitor in the home.
    -Active Listening: Listen attentively without offering immediate solutions. Truly hear her worries and frustrations to help her feel heard and valued. If she has a meltdown try to be curious rather than defensive.

    -Decision making: Do not dominate your wife with your opinions, rather leave room for collaboration and hear her out. She has opinions and ideas too that need compromise.
    -Appreciation & Gratitude: Express appreciation daily for her efforts in the home, in her career, or as a mother. A simple “thank you” or “you are amazing” has profound effects.
    -Quality Connection: Create a screen-free “reunion” when you return home to reconnect properly. TV and phones block interpersonal communication.
    -Support Her Goals: Encourage her passions, hobbies, and career goals, making her personal growth a priority in your shared life. Do not talk down to her or criticise her goals and performance.
    -Respect her in public and private: Be mindful of showing respect and appreciation, especially in front of friends or family, which protects her dignity.

    Small, Consistent Gestures of Affection.
    -Small acts of care are more effective than sporadic grand gestures.
    -Thoughtful Notes/Texts: Send messages during the day just to say you are thinking of her.
    -Daily Touch: A warm hug, holding hands, or a passionate kiss upon returning home can diminish stress and increase your connection . Make sure you understand what her needs are in the bedroom, and then follow through.
    -Unprompted Kindness: Bring home her favorite treat, flowers, or a small gift “just because”. Introduce activities that strengthen your emotional bond and bring you closer together to make sexual intimacy pleasurable. Such as a slow dance in the kitchen or sharing a bath.

    Active Fatherhood
    -If you have children, being an active father is one of the highest forms of effort for your wife.
    -Share Childcare: Be proactive in feeding, bathing, and playing with children, allowing her to have time to rest.
    -Teach and Play: Engage with the children rather than leaving the responsibility of parenting entirely to her

    Scheduling Intentional Time
    -As a working man, you must fight to create space for your relationship.
    Romance should not stop when you live together. You could try the 777 rule, it’s a relationship-strengthening framework designed to ensure consistent, intentional time together. It suggests a date night every 7 days, a romantic overnight getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation every 7 months. This structure fosters intimacy and prevents routine and stress from eroding the bond.

    Self-Care
    -Prioritize well-being: Maintain your own physical and mental health to be fully present and supportive in your relationship. A healthy partner makes for a better partner. Pay attention to your grooming, go to the gym and keep on top of your dentist and doctor appointments.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Practical Steps To Make Your Husband Feel Seen.

    PRACTICAL STEPS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND FEEL SEEN

    For a working woman, the effort she makes for her husband in a modern marriage has shifted away from chores and servitude, to center more on partnership, empathy, and maintaining a nurturing connection. Rather than outdated notions of servitude, a dual-career household requires the focus to be on proactive communication, emotional support, and quality time over sheer physical labor.
    Here are the types of effort that strengthen a marriage when both spouses work:

    Nurturing the Emotional Connection
    -Active Listening & Empathy: Create a safe space for him to discuss his day without fear of judgment. Listen to understand his stresses rather than to immediately respond. But put a limit on it to not poison the whole evening with a kind gesture or distraction.
    -Show Appreciation and Validation: Regularly thank him and acknowledge his efforts to provide and care for the family, which boosts his confidence.
    -Be a Team Player: Approach life’s challenges together, ensuring you are aligned on goals and values, viewing a “win” for one as a win for the team.

    Proactive Communication and Support
    -Express Needs Clearly: Communicate your needs and desires directly instead of expecting him to guess, reducing misunderstandings.
    -Support His Goals: Champion his dreams and aspirations, offering encouragement when he feels demotivated.
    -Respect Him in Public: Be mindful of showing respect and appreciation, especially in front of friends or family, which protects his dignity.

    Fostering Intimacy and Togetherness.
    -Prioritize Quality Time: Dedicate time, such as a weekly date night, to connect and have fun together, keeping the romance alive.
    -Maintain Physical Intimacy: Understand and address the importance of intimacy in the relationship. This does not refer only to sexual intimacy, but to activities that strengthen your emotional bond and bring you closer together to make this possible.
    -Small Gestures of Love: Leave notes, surprise him with a favorite meal, or offer acts of service that show you are thinking of him.

    Efficient Household Partnership.
    -Shared Responsibilities: Work together to assign clear tasks for cooking, cleaning, and managing finances, rather than trying to do everything alone.
    -Flexibility During Tough Times: Offer grace and support, particularly when the other is having a difficult week.
    -Set Boundaries for Work: Agree on rules like “no business talk at dinner” to ensure your home remains a place of rest rather than an extension of the office.

    Self-Care.
    -Prioritize well-being: Work can be hectic, but make time to maintain your own physical and mental health. This will help you to be fully present and supportive, while feeling good within yourself. A healthy partner makes for a better partner, so make time for exercise and self-care.

    Ultimately, the best effort is one that fosters love, respect, and a “team-first” mentality, rather than merely balancing chores. The first step is simply to be kind to one another.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • The Cracked Mirror

    THE CRACKED MIRROR
    In my business I get to meet so many amazing women.
    Beautiful women.
    Vivacious women.
    Accomplished women.
    Compassionate women.

    And yet…they do not see themselves the way I see them.
    I could edit the most gorgeous photograph of one, poetry in motion. And you know what she will see? Tummy rolls. Like we are programmed to zoom in on our flaws, and disregard the positives.

    Often women fail to see the bigger picture, and get stuck on their imperfections. And it is this habit that erodes our self esteem. We are trained to look for our flaws rather than focus on our strengths. We grow up deflecting compliments and staying humbled by the judgements of others.
    We internalise those judgements until our own inner critic is more brutal than anyone on the outside could ever be.

    I am no different, I even resorted to plastic surgery in my 20’s. Despite the fact that I had so many amazing things going for me, I zeroed in on that one perceived flaw. And what followed was a disastrous sequence of events that affected my self esteem, my finances, my relationship, even my a ability to work.

    What women do not realise is that they’re already the full package. And that the more we recognise our own gifts, the more gratitude and self appreciation will fill our lives and change it’s very course.

    If you believed in yourself, what bold and brave choices might you make?
    How would you make love if you felt beautiful?
    What romantic partner would you seek if you felt worthy?

    The way we see ourselves is what will shape our lives, and this applies to men as well, naturally. But the women…all tangled up in how society expects us to look, it’s a travesty and a tragedy. It’s an added layer of ‘I’m not good enough’ and it can poison your entire life. When I acknowledge the amount of self loathing that women live with, I wonder how they manage to get out of bed in the morning.

    So just for today, start a journal.
    Each morning write in it something you like about yourself.

    Put a post it note on your mirror-“You are beautiful”
    Let’s shift the narrative.
    Let’s change our mindsets.
    We are enough.

    And just for today, do something nice for yourself. A flower on your coffee tray, some bubbles in your bath. Because you are worthy.
    Start a pattern that will change your mindset day by day.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • The Scarlet Woman

    Model Candice Storm, Tog Tanya Borchers

    THE SCARLET WOMAN

    You’ve all seen her, or perhaps been her. The woman in the red dress, full red lips, hot red heels.

    It’s so strange how colour can be associated with implied behaviour. Or a certain style of clothing. And that is because as human beings we take mental short cuts. It’s too much trouble to relate to every woman on an individual level, so our brains take a mental short cut and stereotype people. So the woman dressed in red becomes the Scarlet Woman. The easy woman, the prostitute. Or the one dressed in leather, or the one in that mini skirt. The man in the pink shirt must be gay. You know what I mean.

    But here’s the truth. Certainly some women are wearing that red dress (or whatever) for attention. But many are not.
    Some are wearing it because it feels good to wear it. Because red is their colour, or because she feels the lines flatter her body.
    For many woman, dressing in red (or leather, or whatever) is not about you at all. It’s not about men at all.
    It’s about her reclaiming the right to feel good, or wild, or sassy in her own body. It does not make her available. Or if she’s married, it does not mean she is looking for somebody better.
    It means she is looking to better herself.
    (Or if she is married and looking for somebody better, caging her won’t change that)

    There are many reasons a woman might dress in an alluring manner. And most of them have little to do with anybody else.

    *She might be recaliming her sensuality. There are many times in a woman’s life where she might have lost herself along the way. Pregnancy. Motherhood. Your infidelity.
    Phases where she has not had the time or energy to take care of herself. And phases where she has felt an awakening of herself before all the responsibility robbed her of her time or will to feel beautiful.

    * She might have let herself go physically. Bodies come and go, there are periods of self- indulgence, or emotional eating followed by periods of getting her shit together at the gym. And the feeling of accomplishment deserves a celebration.

    *Mentally, periods of grief or loss might shift her focus away from her own health for a time. Depression can really suck everything beautiful out of your life, including your self esteem. And to rise from that and wear something that makes flher feel beautiful is to reclaim her true essence before the trauma ripped it to pieces.

    *Emotionally, she might have been struggling to get out of bed for so long that she forget how to put on her lipstick. Where the tears made her give up on wearing mascara. Times when she forgot how doing her hair and wearing something sassy could be good for her soul.

    *Perhaps she had a partner who tried to keep her small, who told her to fly under the radar or risk being left alone. A toxic relationship or an abusive marriage. And perhaps she began to see that a partner who tries to keep her small does not really have her best interests at heart. Only his own.

    A woman in a red dress (or whatever) does not mean she is searching for something outside of her marriage. Perhaps she is reconnecting with something inside of herself that she lost along the way. Perhaps she decided to ‘fake it till she makes it’ back to her former self. The one with confidence and a twinkle in her eye.

    A woman in a red dress (or whatever) does not mean she is ‘searching’ or ‘selling’. She is a woman who is embodying her inner goddess. One who is expressing herself without fear. One who is growing, rising within her own potential. And this has nothing to do with you, your husband, or even her own partner if she has one.
    Most of the time, it has everything to do with her rebirth.

    And if it is your partner in scarlet, give her the support she needs to grow and shine. As this is also a reflection of your love and light. Nobody wants to live in a cage. Everybody has the need to find their way back to themselves. To express themselves. Nobody does well in captivity. Your partner is far more likely to run away if you continue to cage her, than if you accept that all people deserve to be free. As a man, providing a safe space for her to grow in her power and personal expression is an embodiment of your divine masculine.

    There can be a lot of fear caused by underlying insecurity, which will surface when a woman starts looking after herself, and wearing that sexy dress. That is your projection of your own insecurities onto her, and not a prediction of her behaviour. Policing her wardrobe is not what will keep her faithful to you, and allowing her freedom in what she wears will not be the cause of her running off with somebody new.
    And if she does, it has nothing to do with her outfits and everything to do with the state of your relationship.
    Likewise, slut shaming a sexy lady is not going to stop your husband from lusting after her. Only he can do that.
    Women don’t need another cage. And if that baggy T-shirt is the only thing holding your relationship together, there are bigger problems to solve than what is in her draw.

    A man who understands she is not running away from him, but running towards herself, is a man who understands how to attract his mate, rather than trap her. And in this freedom of choice that you provide lies the power. For everyone. Let her choose you. And in turn, she allows you to choose her, in true freedom.

    There is no other way.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • Handfasting, an ancient ritual revived

    HANDFASTING, AN ANCIENT RITUAL REVIVED

    Handfasting, an ancient tradition revived.

    Once on the fringe of modern marriage, the tradition of Handfasting is starting to make a comeback as an alternative to traditional wedding ceremonies.

    Handfasting is an ancient ritual from Celtic and Norse traditions, where the hands of the bride and groom were symbolically bound together in wedlock. A promise that lasted for a year and a day, with the option to renew or runl! Many people are unaware that our expression of ‘tying the knot’ comes from this pagan tradition. When a child was born the marriage would become permanent, providing more security for the woman and child.

    While the core ritual of binding the hands remains, today’s ceremonies can include personal touches like using different colored ribbons to represent specific qualities or weaving cords from three strands to symbolize strength and unity.

    In modern times, it is a welcome invitation to renew your vows every year. An invitation to put your best forward, or stay on your toes as the future is not promised. It never is, of course, but there is something to be said for having a deadline to work to, something that brings out the best in most of us!
    Also, a welcome opportunity to sit down and speak about the status of your relationship, where you are succeeding and what needs to be worked on. Something I believe most marriages lack, good communication, accountability and forward planning.

    Many marriages go through cycles, or eras, where a different style might be required, as we shift from lovers to parents and then back to lovers (hopefully). So an annual relational summit seems like the ideal way to renegotiate the terms of an agreement that is subject to much change as we journey through life.

    A more modern ceremonial alternative is the hand binding, where friends and relatives write wishes for the couple on ribbons. And each ribbon is read out during the ceremony as it is wrapped around the hands of the betrothed couple. A beautiful way to include everyone in the ceremony of tying the knot.

    I was asked by my own daughter to perform a hand fasting ceremony for her wedding, and I’m so in love with the concept that I am offering my services for other couples desiring this style of wedding.

    Handfasting is not legally recognized as a marriage in South Africa, as the law requires a civil or customary marriage to be performed by a marriage officer. However, couples can incorporate handfasting as a symbolic ceremony and have their marriage legally finalized by a marriage officer, which can be done before or after the handfasting ritual.
    You can get in touch with me for for information.
    WhatsApp 0833613255

    Images by XO Photography
    Venue The Bohemian Guesthouse

  • Why The Sensual Arts Are Good For Women.

    WHY THE SENSUAL ARTS ARE GOOD FOR WOMEN

    Why do I teach pole, burlesque, the sensual arts?
    I don’t usually post pole dance on my life coaching page, but here is why;

    It makes you strong, oh yes.
    But more importantly it creates a sisterhood. A safe space of non-judgement amongst women, which can be truly rare.
    A space of non-judgement towards yourself, even more rare.

    That pole can be the most beautiful partner. One who is always there to dance with you. Holding you up, teaching you to appreciate your curves.
    Because pole dance or burlesque is not about men. We aren’t waiting for men to define beauty, we are defining it together, for ourselves.

    It’s about women reclaiming their bodies, realising their fat rolls or stretch marks are testament to a unique life in perpetual motion, and part of the whole woman. Still sexy. Still beautiful. The story behind a life well lived. The story behind grief, despair, triumph, reclamation. Sovereignty.

    You don’t have to be 20 and slim to love your body (but if you’re there I hope you do).
    You just need to let yourself feel the motion of your hips, lose yourself in the swing of the music, close your eyes and appreciate the jiggle. Say yes to yourself, to your body, to your sensuality.

    Dancing in ecstacy has no age limit, no waist size, It’s an invitation to let yourself go. To look inwards and feel your womb, feel your power, feel your vulnerability. Feel it all.
    .
    The shift you need isn’t about toning your body.
    It’s about learning how to express ecstasy and love in the body that you showed up in today. The body that carried your children or survived your last relationship disaster. Her. She.

    It’s about choosing you, seeing you, embracing the hot mess and finding beauty in the chaos of your imperfect perfection. It’s about embracing you.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255