Thinking Out Of The Bra!

THINKING OUT OF THE BRA!

You get many expressions of feminism, from the burn-the-bra and grow-your-armpit-hair types, to the my-body-my-rules point of view. Women have been claiming their sovereignty back since the 60’s, and sometimes I wonder if fun got left behind with it! When did things get so serious? Why did society need to push women to the point of being on guard, on the defensive all the time?

There are so many issues around woman’s bodies and breasts. Most notably that ‘breasts are for babies’ and ‘breasts are for breastfeeding’. And I agree 100 percent with these statements, having breast fed 2 beautiful children of my own. But more importantly breasts belong to the woman they are attached to! They are not public property or available for comment and comparison. All sizes are good sizes!
So when it comes to being a breast fan, I’m not talking about modifying your boobs to impress a partner or flashing them on Only Fans.
I’m talking about healing our relationship with our breasts. Coming back into balance.

I once felt that I needed breast implants to complete my ‘look’ and it turned out they were not for me. My body rejected them from day one and I spent years struggling with the complications and my own health. And boy oh boy was removing them a trauma! It felt like losing my own breasts, like a mastectomy of sorts. Our society has created so much body dysmorphia in the eyes of men and the minds of women surrounding breasts. What is the ideal shape, the ideal size? How can we alter the appearance of our breasts to be more sexually or visually appealing? Do we draw the line at a push up bra, breast implants or just burning that bra entirely?

Social media expects women to look a certain way, and then to change completely with the next trend. Yet we are not the same, we are all unique and each body type has it’s own charms. Perhaps we need to heal the perception of what a natural breast actually looks like?
Afterall, you don’t see men rushing off to cut open their balls and install some large fake clangers, or at least not very often?

Through all of this, we as woman need to learn to love and appreciate ourselves for who we are, to not be defined by our breasts, and to be body positive about our own shape.

And sometimes, if we can learn to truly appreciate who we are on the other side of trauma and healing, there lies a whole lot of fun and freedom! Afterall, the more you focus on trauma, the more you will feel the trauma. But don’t unpack your bags and stay there, do the work and move forward.
How would you make love if you weren’t worried about your appearance? If you didn’t feel the need to turn off the lights? How would you feel about your body if you could let go of the negative experiences and toxic thought processes?

There is value in a sensual celebration of what it means to be woman, a woman not defined by her breasts but able to enjoy being in her own skin. Being a woman free to express herself as she wishes without fear of judgement or unwanted advances. A woman free to be her wild and unapologetic self. Not for money, not to impress anybody, but just to embody the goddess she was intended to be.

At the end of the day, working on the relationship you have with yourself will be the most important journey you will ever travel.
It’s time to sign up for that pole dancing class, it might just be the most fun you’ve ever had with your clothes on!
Learn some titillating tata twirling, why wouldn’t you? Embracing your sensual side is a reclamation, you’re so much more than a mother or a badass business woman. You are a wonder of nature, a creator of life and a feral enchantress in your own right.

So love your body for what she does for you today, give her what she needs to feel safe, and please don’t base your self worth on the size of your ‘assets’. Choose happiness, choose self expression, choose balance between the goddess, the mother, career woman, the enchantress. Embrace the shadows and the light, the yin and the yang, because taking a deep breath and surrendering into who you truly are is the ultimate freedom. You don’t need permission, and anything else is just manifesting your fear of judgement and shame. They have no place in the psyche of the embodied wild woman.

I am a life coach and relationship coach, you can book a session with me on WhatsApp 0833613255.