Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: Life coach

  • Polarity Isn’t Progress

    POLARITY ISN’T PROGRESS

    Polarity is a reaction to feminism. A reset for the idea that a woman can (and should) do everything by herself. There is a lot of talk on the Internet about polarity, especially in the Manosphere. This concept of how a woman should think and act does not take into account personal traits and preferences. What she should expect from her life, what her role is in society applies a blanket rule for all.

    And how alpha /real men are providers, again ignoring personality types and individual differences. Hell, half the men I’ve seen online are in their princess era! Some are body builders and some wear makeup, and some do both.
    When you try to squeeze an entire gender into one small box, it all gets really toxic really fast.

    Everybody is different, we are all unique individuals, yes…even the ‘females’, as the Manosphere likes to refer to us as. There is no one-size-fits-all in human relationships or psychology. Not even from an evolutionary or cultural perspective, where some societies are matriarchal and some are patriarchal. Where Amazon’s were warriors and men were subservient while other societies cast women into the submissive role.

    So let’s turn gender bias on its ass for a second. Some women like to provide, and some men like to stay at home and take care of the family. Some women are body builders and some men are ultra-fem. And that’s ok!
    Women are gender policed because they are too strong, too muscular, too independent. Or too sexy, too promiscuous, too independant. Men are policed too, because they are too soft, too feminine, too simp, too homo, too alpha.

    While men are encouraged to integrate their feminine side in some circles, women who embrace their masculine side are criticised in others. We are called bitch, butch, scary, liberated. They are called conscious, enlightened, or homo. It depends who you ask.

    How about we take each person as an individual, in a world where variety is interesting and even entertaining?
    Calling a strong woman butch or a soft man a simp is a form of bullying I have encountered a few times in my life, and I found it to be really upsetting.

    After some thought and some insightful chats to other strong women, I have come to realize something I already knew on an intellectual level. I just needed to remove the emotional sting. Return the energy to sender. Accept and love the path that I have chosen, or change it for my own reasons.

    *At the end of the day, we should all be striving to integrate elements of our opposite gender to be better balanced humans.
    *People who shame others are doing it out of their own insecurities.
    *Body shaming is just a form of gender stereotyping and bullying, don’t ever feel the need to fit into anybody’s mould.
    *Rise above comments that do not deserve a response.
    *People who are trying to pull you down are already below you.

    Let’s pack away these ridiculous boxes and try to not be kak humans, ok?

    I am a holistic life coach & wellness coach, registered traditional doctor with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Goddess Rising

    Image by Ken Lovell, Model Mermaid Storm

    GODDESS RISING

    The Goddess Was Never Pure.
    Somewhere along the way, a woman’s worth became entangled with the idea of purity.
    Untouched. Unclaimed. Unmarked.
    But if we look back—before modern shame, before rigid moral codes, before the policing of women’s bodies—we find something radically different.
    We find goddesses, and they were never pure.
    They were sensual, desiring, expressive, embodied. They loved deeply, often, and freely. Their sexuality was not a stain on their divinity—it was an extension of it. It was creative force. It was life itself.
    The ancient feminine was not revered for restraint. She was revered for power.
    She was the lover and the creator. The seductress and the destroyer. The one who felt everything and withheld nothing.
    She was whole.

    The Invention of “Purity”
    Purity, as we understand it today, is not an ancient truth. It is a social construct—one that emerged as systems of control over women’s bodies became more rigid.
    A woman’s sexuality became something to regulate.
    To contain.
    To measure.
    Her value became tied to what she had not done, rather than who she was.
    Virginity became currency. Modesty became morality. Desire became danger.
    And slowly, the narrative shifted:
    From “She is divine because she embodies life”
    To “She is worthy only if she remains untouched.”

    The Modern Contradiction.
    Today, women live inside a paradox.
    Their bodies are everywhere—advertised, stylized, filtered, sold. Sexuality is used to market everything from perfume to protein shakes. Entire industries are built on the consumption of the female form.
    And yet-
    The same woman who is desired can be diminished.
    The woman who expresses her sexuality openly can be judged.
    The woman who profits from her body can be dehumanized.
    She is told:
    Be desirable, but not experienced.
    Be sexy, but not sexual.
    Be wanted, but not wanting.
    And if she crosses that invisible line—if she owns her desire instead of performing it—her worth is questioned.

    The Goddess in the “Impure”
    What if we rejected this entirely?
    What if we remembered that a woman does not lose her divinity through experience?
    That her body is not something that can be “used up”?
    That desire does not diminish her—it animates her?
    A woman who has loved many times is not less sacred.
    A woman who has explored her sexuality is not less worthy.
    A woman working within the sex trade is not less human, less deserving of dignity, less divine.
    She is still a body that feels.
    A heart that knows.
    A soul that exists beyond the projections placed upon her.

    Reclaiming the Sacred Body
    To see yourself as a goddess is not about perfection, it’s about modern feminism.
    It is not about purity.
    It is about sovereignty.
    It is about returning to the truth that your body is yours—not a moral scoreboard, not a commodity for judgment, not a thing to be ranked or reduced.
    Your body is an instrument of experience.
    A vessel of sensation.
    A living expression of life force.
    And life force does not ask for permission to be worthy.

    Before shame was taught, pleasure was natural.
    Before bodies were controlled, they were celebrated.
    Before purity was demanded, women were simply… powerful.
    This is not about rejecting sexuality.
    It is about reclaiming it from systems that distort it.
    It is about seeing yourself—not through the lens of judgment—but through the ancient remembering:
    That the goddess was never untouched.
    She was alive.
    And that aliveness is your birthright.

    I am a life coach, relationship coach and registered traditional doctor.
    You can send me a WhatsApp to book a session with me.
    083 263 5569

  • How The 777 Rule Can Save Your Relationship

    HOW THE 777 RULE CAN SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

    How the 777 Rule can save your relationship 💓

    Most relationships go through difficult patches, uninspired patches, emotional lows. The 777 rule is a relationship framework designed to keep marriages or long-term partnerships strong by prioritizing intentional quality time.

    So if you’re feeling unexcited, uninspired or disconnected from your partner, why not try the 777 rule? The first step is to have a discussion about it to avoid disappointment and make sure you’re on the same page. Be honest about your feelings and needs, the room mate phase can be brutal if one of you is feeling rejected or unappreciated.

    It consists of three habits:
    Every 7 days have a date night
    Every 7 weeks take a night away
    Every 7 months plan a romantic getaway. This structure helps couples reconnect, break routines, and maintain intimacy.

    Core Components of the 777 Rule:
    Every 7 Days (Date Night): Regular, uninterrupted time together. It does not need to be expensive or out of the house; it can be a “table time” chat, a movie night, or a meal without distractions.

    Every 7 Weeks (Overnight Trip): A mini-getaway such as a night in a local hotel or a weekend camping trip, to step away from daily responsibilities.

    Every 7 Months (Vacation): A more extended trip to focus entirely on each other, providing a deeper chance for connection, adventure, or relaxation.

    The 777 rule tackles the lack of time that can cause relationships to fade by making togetherness a consistent, scheduled priority. It also gives the male partner the opportunity to take the lead in building intimacy in the relationship, something the woman usually craves and reaches for.

    It is designed to be flexible, focusing on the intention of connecting, rather than strict, expensive, or complex plans. Quality time which can encourage a deeper connection emotionally and physically.

    Above all else, keep the lines of communication open. Make sure you are both on board, it can be very disappointing if your partner fails to follow through on date night. Perhaps discuss taking turns to ‘treat’ one another. A lack of quality time is one of the easiest things to repair if both of you are willing, and it will bring great rewards to your relationship.

    I am a holistic Life Coach, traditional Doctor and Relationship Coach.
    Get in touch with me to book a session on my WhatsApp line.
    +27 83 263 5569

    “Your most inspired life is crafted element by element”

  • Practical Steps To Make Your Husband Feel Seen.

    PRACTICAL STEPS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND FEEL SEEN

    For a working woman, the effort she makes for her husband in a modern marriage has shifted away from chores and servitude, to center more on partnership, empathy, and maintaining a nurturing connection. Rather than outdated notions of servitude, a dual-career household requires the focus to be on proactive communication, emotional support, and quality time over sheer physical labor.
    Here are the types of effort that strengthen a marriage when both spouses work:

    Nurturing the Emotional Connection
    -Active Listening & Empathy: Create a safe space for him to discuss his day without fear of judgment. Listen to understand his stresses rather than to immediately respond. But put a limit on it to not poison the whole evening with a kind gesture or distraction.
    -Show Appreciation and Validation: Regularly thank him and acknowledge his efforts to provide and care for the family, which boosts his confidence.
    -Be a Team Player: Approach life’s challenges together, ensuring you are aligned on goals and values, viewing a “win” for one as a win for the team.

    Proactive Communication and Support
    -Express Needs Clearly: Communicate your needs and desires directly instead of expecting him to guess, reducing misunderstandings.
    -Support His Goals: Champion his dreams and aspirations, offering encouragement when he feels demotivated.
    -Respect Him in Public: Be mindful of showing respect and appreciation, especially in front of friends or family, which protects his dignity.

    Fostering Intimacy and Togetherness.
    -Prioritize Quality Time: Dedicate time, such as a weekly date night, to connect and have fun together, keeping the romance alive.
    -Maintain Physical Intimacy: Understand and address the importance of intimacy in the relationship. This does not refer only to sexual intimacy, but to activities that strengthen your emotional bond and bring you closer together to make this possible.
    -Small Gestures of Love: Leave notes, surprise him with a favorite meal, or offer acts of service that show you are thinking of him.

    Efficient Household Partnership.
    -Shared Responsibilities: Work together to assign clear tasks for cooking, cleaning, and managing finances, rather than trying to do everything alone.
    -Flexibility During Tough Times: Offer grace and support, particularly when the other is having a difficult week.
    -Set Boundaries for Work: Agree on rules like “no business talk at dinner” to ensure your home remains a place of rest rather than an extension of the office.

    Self-Care.
    -Prioritize well-being: Work can be hectic, but make time to maintain your own physical and mental health. This will help you to be fully present and supportive, while feeling good within yourself. A healthy partner makes for a better partner, so make time for exercise and self-care.

    Ultimately, the best effort is one that fosters love, respect, and a “team-first” mentality, rather than merely balancing chores. The first step is simply to be kind to one another.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • Menopause Mayhem Vol 3: When Did Insulin Become The Enemy?

    MENOPAUSE MAYHEM VOLUME 3: WHEN DID INSULIN BECOME THE ENEMY?

    Ok, these fans might be overkill for hot flashes, but I’m sure every woman over 50 wishes they would fit in her handbag!
    :

    Have you noticed that your eating plans stopped working, and that spare tyre is growing? Here is some advice based on the fight between oestrogen and insulin in your body right now.

    Eat 3 protein meals per day instead of 5. Even it used to work for, it might not anymore.
    This is because as oestrogen maintains insulin sensitivity, and as it drops, women can become insulin resistant.

    Not only might your go-to meal plan stop working…it might actually be sabotaging you.
    This is because the peri/menopause hormonal shift triggers increased abdominal (visceral) fat storage, reduced metabolic rate, and higher, harder-to-manage blood sugar levels. These changes, often compounded by poor sleep, make cells less responsive to insulin.

    Eating 3 times daily will spike your insulin 3 times, instead of 5. So, if you’re feeling like you need a chocolate, have it straight after a meal instead of as a separate snack for the same reasons.

    Quit the shakes and have a smoothie instead.
    Amino acids in protein shakes, particularly whey protein, primarily cause a significant spike in insulin. Protein shakes, especially whey, are highly insulinotropic, meaning they stimulate the pancreas to release insulin.
    A homemade smoothie can be a better option for avoiding insulin spikes than a typical shake, but only if it is designed with high fiber, healthy fats, and protein, and is low in sugar. Hint: skip the fruit juice.

    Heart rate
    Your heart rate can spike your cortisol levels in peri/ menopause, with your oestrogen on an extended vacation. The ideal formula is to subtract your age from 180, to give you a ceiling in beats per minute.
    The best exercises for menopause combine strength training (lifting weights, bands) to build bone density and reverse muscle loss, with cardiovascular exercise (HIIT, walking, cycling) to manage weight and heart health. Just keep an eye on your heart rate to prevent cortisol from flooding your system. Recommended routines include 2.5 hours of moderate activity weekly, incorporating yoga for stress reduction and mobility.

    Fiber
    To reduce bloating, add more fiber to your meals with a sprinkle of psyllium husk, especially if you’re eating pasta or a smoothie that is low on fibre.

    Tonics
    Try Black Cohosh (hot flushes, night sweats) and Dandelion (white tongue, liver detox)
    Or
    Milk Thistle (inflammation) and Chastree/Agnus Castus (Hormone imbalances)

    I am a wellness coach, traditional doctor and life coach based in Johannesburg. You can send me a WhatsApp to book an appointment on +27833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted, element by element”

  • Menopause Mayhem- Volume 2: Homicidal Rage.

    MENOPAUSE MAYHEM VOLUME 2: HOMICIDAL RAGE

    Now everybody gets a little cross from time to time. Sometimes even for no reason, and that is a fine and human thing. But what happens when your oestrogen bottoms out, your progesterone is in decline and those well worn dopamine channels run dry?

    Aside from developing a dark sense of humour and dry wit, your people pleasing seems to wither away and is replaced with an undeniable urge to slap people!

    Rage during menopause is caused by fluctuating hormones (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone) impacting brain chemicals like serotonin, leading to mood instability. Combine this with physical symptoms like sleep loss, hot flashes, and stress, and your irritability is going to go through the roof. That shopping list that your partner keeps leaving in the kitchen is likely to get stapled to his forehead, whereas the old you would have sent a photo on WhatsApp or just gone to the shops yourself.

    Emotional sensitivity is increased too when these hormones wobble or bottom out completely, creating a difficult situational cycle for everyone to endure. Estrogen changes affect mood-regulating brain areas and neurotransmitters, while increased cortisol from stress further fuels anger, making everyday triggers feel overwhelming. And lets not even talk about what the damn cortisol is doing to your previously slim waistline…

    The Chemical Cascade explained.
    Estrogen and Serotonin: Declining estrogen levels disrupt serotonin, a “happy chemical” that regulates mood, leading to irritability and anger. This is why you are far more likely to tell people what you really think these days. No more sugar coating anything (because you probably are it all at midnight)
    Hormonal Rollercoaster: The fluctuating, rather than steady, decline of hormones makes mood swings unpredictable, similar to puberty. Things you used to brush off are suddenly wildly irritating. And although it’s great to hold people accountable for their misdeeds, murder is probably going a step too far!
    Cortisol & Stress: Menopause can heighten the stress response, increasing cortisol (the stress hormone), which amplifies irritability and emotional sensitivity, making it harder to cope.
    Neurotransmitter Imbalance: Reduced estrogen also lowers GABA, a calming neurotransmitter, which diminishes your ability to self-soothe.

    So what to do when your mood-regulating brain chemicals are fucking with your chi?
    Consult a Doctor who is well educated on menopause. Possibly a female for more knowledge and enpathy. Discuss hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or other treatments for severe symptoms.

    Find a menopause coach or wellness coach who can recommend natural supplements and holistic supplements to help you self-soothe. Explore how Dialectical Behaviour Therapy can help you, there’s even an app for this called Liven.

    Manage your stress by practicing mindfulness (living in the moment), try joining a yoga or meditation class. Exercise, put your bare feet on the ground and find creative outlets like pottery, painting or making sour dough to channel your emotions.

    And finally, optimize your lifestyle. Start by prioritizing sleep and staying hydrated. Your wellness coach can assist with a balanced diet that can also reduce cortisol levels (magnesium and B vitamins help). Swop out your coffee for cacao and sugar for honey. Find a calm space to retreat to when those murderous impulses rise, take a bubble bath and lock the door. (Yes please, it’s called boundaries)

    At the end of the day, menopause can be a real shit show. But it’s your shit show so try to implement some of these before you become one of those bad things that happen to good people.

    You’ve got this babe, just make a start and see how your life can change and grow through all of this.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • The Cracked Mirror

    THE CRACKED MIRROR
    In my business I get to meet so many amazing women.
    Beautiful women.
    Vivacious women.
    Accomplished women.
    Compassionate women.

    And yet…they do not see themselves the way I see them.
    I could edit the most gorgeous photograph of one, poetry in motion. And you know what she will see? Tummy rolls. Like we are programmed to zoom in on our flaws, and disregard the positives.

    Often women fail to see the bigger picture, and get stuck on their imperfections. And it is this habit that erodes our self esteem. We are trained to look for our flaws rather than focus on our strengths. We grow up deflecting compliments and staying humbled by the judgements of others.
    We internalise those judgements until our own inner critic is more brutal than anyone on the outside could ever be.

    I am no different, I even resorted to plastic surgery in my 20’s. Despite the fact that I had so many amazing things going for me, I zeroed in on that one perceived flaw. And what followed was a disastrous sequence of events that affected my self esteem, my finances, my relationship, even my a ability to work.

    What women do not realise is that they’re already the full package. And that the more we recognise our own gifts, the more gratitude and self appreciation will fill our lives and change it’s very course.

    If you believed in yourself, what bold and brave choices might you make?
    How would you make love if you felt beautiful?
    What romantic partner would you seek if you felt worthy?

    The way we see ourselves is what will shape our lives, and this applies to men as well, naturally. But the women…all tangled up in how society expects us to look, it’s a travesty and a tragedy. It’s an added layer of ‘I’m not good enough’ and it can poison your entire life. When I acknowledge the amount of self loathing that women live with, I wonder how they manage to get out of bed in the morning.

    So just for today, start a journal.
    Each morning write in it something you like about yourself.

    Put a post it note on your mirror-“You are beautiful”
    Let’s shift the narrative.
    Let’s change our mindsets.
    We are enough.

    And just for today, do something nice for yourself. A flower on your coffee tray, some bubbles in your bath. Because you are worthy.
    Start a pattern that will change your mindset day by day.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Menopause Mayhem-Volume One

    MENOPAUSE MAYHEM-VOLUME ONE

    Menopause Mayhem- Volume 1
    For every woman experiencing the train wreck that is menopause, there is the realisation that the information around it does not flow freely. Yes, we all know about rage and mood swings, but there is so much more.
    I’ve been doing some research, and I’ll be sharing it to raise awareness, because I understand how it can feel like you’re going crazy and don’t know why!

    Today’s issue: Sensory Overload
    Did you know that menopause can cause sensory issues? This can lead to heightened sensitivity (sensory overload) or altered sensations like skin prickling, taste/smell changes, and balance problems, largely due to fluctuating estrogen affecting brain chemistry (serotonin, dopamine) and nerve pathways, impacting how you perceive the world. These shifts can make you more sensitive to lights, sounds, textures, and smells, impacting daily coping.

    Here are some common Menopause-Related Sensory Issues:
    Heightened Sensitivity (Overload):
    Your partner has verbal diarrhoea while you’re trying to watch a movie and it’s taking every ounce of self control not to stab him with your dinner fork. Normal stimuli (lights, noises, crowds, textures) can feel overwhelming, triggering panic or needing to escape.

    Altered Skin Sensations: Are your feet on fire, without doing the fire walk your guru says will change your life? You might be experiencing formication (insects crawling), burning, itching, numbness, or tingling (paresthesias).

    Taste & Smell Changes: You used to love mincemeat and now you can’t even cook it without gagging like an adult film star.
    Fluctuations in estrogen can alter your sense of smell and taste, or cause a burning mouth sensation (burning mouth syndrome).

    Balance & Coordination: You tried to catch the cat, went flying out of your bedroom door and impaled your boob on the garden gnome. Changes in the cerebellum, affected by hormones, can lead to dizziness, vertigo, clumsiness, and spatial disorientation.

    Touch Sensitivity: Your forehead is flaking like an old paint job and you have to sit on your hands to stop clawing at your face.
    Skin can become drier and more sensitive, or conversely, responsiveness to touch (even intimate) might decrease.

    Why It Happens:
    -Estrogen Decline: Estrogen influences neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, crucial for mood, cognition, and sensory processing. Lower levels disrupt these pathways, lowering your sensory threshold.
    -Nervous System Impact: Hormonal shifts affect nerve function, potentially increasing pain perception and disrupting sensory input.

    If you have read this and some of these issues have resonated with you, there are some things you can do.
    Now that you know you’re not going crazy, give some thought to how you can adapt to this new and confusing version of you. Recognising these changes are hormonal, not you being “difficult,”is the first step. Try adjusting your environment (dim lights, quiet spaces) to feel more comfortable.

    Seek support from a doctor or therapist, or life coach like me. A menopause coach perhaps, it’s important to speak with somebody who has knowledge of menopause and its symptoms. Women have been gaslit by the medical community for far too long. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help manage overwhelming feelings, and is such a great life skill to learn in general.

    Start managing underlying factors like getting a hormone test and putting in place a plan to correct them holistically or with HRT. Address stress, sleep, and overall health, as these can worsen sensory issues. Once you’ve realised you’re not the problem and your hormones are betraying you, you can approach these challenges with more insight and patience, and make some key changes to suit this latest version of you. After all, sometimes a little rage is a valid and necessary thing. People pleasing is so last decade. Anyway, this is me signing off because my socks are driving me nuts…

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Did You Move To Trigger Town?

    DID YOU JUST MOVE TO TRIGGER TOWN?

    We’ve all been there. You asked your partner if the pool will be blue for the weekend and he lost his shit.
    He tapped you on the butt in the kitchen and you bit his head off.
    This is because without regulating our nervous systems, we’re all basically one eye roll away from a major tantrum.

    So why does something seemingly simple spike your anger like a rocket? Afterall, most of us are self-aware enough to know the argument wasn’t actually about stepping into the cat puke this morning.

    Firstly, when our nervous systems are overwhelmed we tend to run on survival mode. Your vagus nerve is stuck on fight/flight mode. Secondly, you have a ticking time bomb in your stomach and a vice grip around your heart, which is amplifying your anxiety. This is because the vagus nerve connects your body to your brain, so you feel your stress quite viscerally. In medical terms, you’re operating in sympathetic mode, your body is flooding with adrenaline and your heart rate is elevated.

    Then along comes a minor irritation and you find yourself on your broomstick before they could blink twice for help.
    This is where trigger stacking comes in. It’s an accumulation of both large and small stressors, which build up into a big reaction. One that leaves people wondering why you burst into tears over the order mix up at Micky D’s. Or a major tantrum in the parking lot sending the car guard scurrying off to safety.

    There are some useful tools you can put to work here. The first being to take a big breath and a slow exhale when something is really pissing you off. This pause will gift you (and everyone else in the room) the opportunity to choose how to respond. And it can make all the difference. Some words will stay with people long after you regret has faded.

    Before you go on the war path, there are some more nervous system techniques you can learn to keep things from overwhelming you.
    -You can cultuivate a sense of detachment where you can observe that thought. ‘Oops, there I go again’, let me change tack before the wrecking ball is unleashed.
    -That pause and exhale, will give you the opportunity for mindfulness, to assess whether your emotion was justified, or the result of trigger stacking.
    -Remove yourself from the situation and sit calmly till the visceral feelings in your body calm down. Notice your heart rate and breath, and start to slow it down.
    -Once your body and mind are feeling calmer, you can think more clearly and decide whether to return to the room. ‘Was it me?’ ‘Did I deserve that?’ ‘Were they out of line?’ ‘Unnecessarily rude to me?’ ‘Who needs to apologise?’ ‘Can I re-frame this and empathise with the other person?’
    Most importantly, if the conflict was justified … ‘Is it safe to go back?’

    If you’re feeling that your entire life has turned into a shit show, you are the victim of trigger stacking and you should take a look at ways to flip your script. Yoga and meditation are great ways to bring your nervous system into parasympathetic mode. Your body will soften, the intrusive thoughts will fade, and your muscles will relax. This is the rest and digest phase. During yoga your brainwaves will shift from the usual Beta to the slower Alpha wave, which promotes relaxation. Meditation will take you into Theta waves, which reduce anxiety, and a deeper practice like Yoga Nidra will shift you into the Delta waves, similar to a deep sleep.

    There are small things you can do daily, at home too, to take your power back. Like making sure you get enough sleep. Better nutrition and fewer stimulants.
    Grounding yourself by putting your bare feet on the floor and saying a simple affirmation like ‘You’ve got this, babe ‘
    Take time to stretch in bed, and set some intentions for your day before you become a slave to your phone.
    Work on a gratitude journal, just a few thoughts before bed or first thing in the morning to get into a good head space…And finally, add some self-care rituals so you’re not pouring from an empty cup.

    You’ve got this, boo.
    So don’t become one of those bad things that happen to good people! At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own triggers and people shouldn’t have to tiptoe around you.

    And lastly, before you diagnose yourself with depression, make sure you are not in fact surrounded by arseholes. Sometimes, the ultimate solution is to move forward, onwards and upwards. We were never meant to be stagnant or paralysed by stress.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted-element by element.”

  • Dealing With Grief & Loss

    DEALING WITH GRIEF & LOSS

    Death is a fact if life, and the death of a loved one is something we will all face many times in our lifetime. The only way to recover from loss effectively is to feel the feels, and these come in waves.
    There are some practical things you can do to cope with grief.
    *Remember to take care of yourself, and to allow your emotions to be expressed. *Seek support from a coach or therapist.
    *Make sure you get enough sleep, exercise, and good food .
    *Reach out to loved ones or try journaling.

    It’s ok to feel down, but make time for activities you enjoy. You’ll have to be patient with the process and recognise that grief is a personal journey.

    There are a few phases to grief, so when you recognise them, know this is part of your healing journey, and you will get through them if you allow yourself to feel.
    You might experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression in you way towards acceptance.

    Prioritize your physical health, taking care to have regular, healthy meals and get enough sleep. It’s natural to take some down time, but try to get back into your regular exercise routine as soon as you can. Even if you don’t feel like it, it will support your physical and mental health.
    Structure can provide a sense of stability so try to maintain routines for activities like eating meals, even if it’s difficult.

    Don’t hesitate to see your doctor for check-ups or discuss any new health concerns. Depression is a natural part of the grieving process, and can be even worse if your relationship was complicated. There are natural and pharmaceutical remedies available to you to help you during this time.

    Allow yourself to feel, understanding that grief is a unique and personal process, and it’s okay to experience a wide range of emotions.
    Find healthy ways to express your feelings, such as talking to friends, family, or a counselor. Some people find it helpful to express themselves through physical activity or creative outlets like writing or painting.

    Schedule time to focus on your grief, even if it’s just 20-30 minutes a day. Use this time to sit quietly, write a letter to the person, or look at photos.
    It is healthy to experience positive emotions like joy when remembering happy memories. Allowing yourself to smile or laugh is also a protective response.

    Lean on friends and family for support and company. Let them know when you want to talk about your loved one and accept their offers of help.

    If you are religious or spiritual, spending time with others in your faith community can provide comfort.
    Connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss can be therapeutic and help you feel less alone.

    Remember and honor your loved one. Find ways to commemorate them, such as creating a memory book, taking that trip you planned together, or engaging in an activity they loved.

    Be patient with yourself, accepting that healing takes time. There is no “normal” timetable for grieving, and it’s important to be patient with yourself throughout the process.

    Recognize the difference between grief and depression. If you are concerned about your mental health, it’s important to talk to a professional.

    Grief is a natural response to loss, while depression is a persistent mood disorder. You will notice that grief often comes in waves of intense sadness mixed with positive memories, whereas depression involves a constant, pervasive sadness. In grief, your self-esteem is usually preserved, but in depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.

    Life can be hard, especially when you are dealing with a loss of any kind. This might be a death, a child moving away or a break up. Be kind to yourself and feel all your feels, this is how the healing happens.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted-element by element.”