Kicking The Habit

KICKING THE HABIT
Research has shown that addictions need to be looked at sociologically. Building strong and positive relationships and having an enriching environment will be the medicine you need to kick the habit. It’s a journey, and you need to focus on the process of working through the stages rather than judging yourself based on outcomes.

There are some tried and tested steps that can help you towards recovery. Most importantly, ask for help. Reach out to a friend or somebody you admire. Join an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (they can help you with gambling and drug addictions too), or find a sharing circle. And if this is happening to somebody you love, you can get support too. (I’ll cover this in my next article).

Step 1: Honesty
Addiction causes a level of denial that can be quite challenging for onlookers to believe. No matter how much people push someone into recovery, unless they accept that there’s a problem, overcoming it is almost impossible. You’ll need to be honest with yourself about the level of your dependence on substances, and what lengths you’re willing to go to to get a fix. Not everybody can drink responsibly. You’ll need to admit that you are powerless over drugs or alcohol. Once you admit that it’s in control of you and not the other way around, you can get started.

Step 2: Faith
Figure out your WHY
Why did you become addicted.
WHY do you need to change your behaviour?
WHY do you need to turn your life around?

If you are able to accept that there is a higher power in the universe, this can help keep you on track. If you want God, or any higher power, to act on your behalf, it’s imperative that you believe it can. Accepting a higher power helps you to see life from a different perspective and creates a sense of accountability.

If you are an atheist or agnostic, learn about other philosophies such as stoicism or Buddhism, or find a person who can guide you and hold you accountable. Accountability is key.

Step 3: Surrender
Welcome a higher power into your life by surrendering fully to a higher purpose. When people feel like their lives lack purpose and meaning, free will can run wild and lead you down dark pathways.
Choosing a higher purpose helps you focus on the true meaning within your life so you can feel like a valuable member of society again. You could pick a charity, join a rotary club or get involved in some community work.

Step 4: Soul Searching
Soul searching is a process, just like recovery. There is no single moment that defines healing. Instead, it’s a culmination of intentions and actions that lead you down the right path. Soul searching involves looking objectively inwards at yourself.
When we’re caught up in addiction, our intentions can end up severely misaligned from how we behave. Most people have good intentions, that can get lost as your addiction interferes. Soul searching will help you become the person you want to be.

Step 5: Integrity
Most of the people who don’t succeed in recovery struggle most with this step. One of the hardest things in life is being honest about things that make us appear vulnerable in front of other people. However, the more you learn to speak your truth, unfiltered, the more you’ll get from the recovery process. Accept that expressing your feelings is normal, and that honesty about setbacks and negative thoughts have a better chance of being conquered if you share them.

Step 6: Acceptance
Addiction is often underpinned by low self-esteem and a negative opinion of yourself. Once you learn to accept that everyone has both good traits and bad characteristics, it’ll be easier to accept yourself.
Sometimes, the hardest aspect of acceptance is letting go of the painful stories we tell ourselves about the past. Forgiving ourselves for the things we’ve done may get to the root of the addicition. Once you accept your history, you can start telling yourself new, happy stories about your future. Focusing on moving forward, setting goals and obtaining the skills necessary to achieve them will keep you on the right path, and you’ll be free of addiction for good.

Step 7: Humility
Antisocial behavior, such as using drugs or withdrawing from peers, often stems from a confused sense of self. Be humble, be open and willing to accept help. Take an interest in the people around you and accept help from them. Thank about it, don’t let pride stand in the way of your recovery. The more people you have in your corner, the easier it will be to stay on track. Being an addict might feel embarassing, but people are more understanding than you think. Taking the wrong actions as a result of your addiction is a lot more embarassing, you’ll need help to keep you from messing up. When you let go and ask for help, you relieve a huge weight of pressure from your life. Whether it’s your religion or cultivating a supportive friend group, learn to lean in. There is no shame in receiving support on your journey.

Step 8: Willingness to make amends
Write a list of the people you’ve harmed and ponder carefully over your past actions. Instead of feeling guilty or wallowing in emotion, think of ideas to make amends. Rather than seeing this as a check-box exercise, genuinely show a willingness to repair the relationships you have broken. Take positive steps to connect with these people, say sorry, and explain the journey you have undertaken.

Step 9: Forgiveness
If there are people in your past who have caused you pain or trauma or hurt you in any way, now is the time to let go. Resentment isn’t constructive for the mind. In fact, it breeds the type of feelings that make you more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol. Letting go of bad feelings — even if they’re aimed at people who do bad things — frees the soul. You could have a conversation with these people, write them a letter, even burn it rather than post it. Whatever works to get those feelings out in the open and stop spiralling inwards with these negative emotions.

Step 10: Maintenance
Quitting an addiction is a long game. Throughout the entire process, you’ll be required to check back with yourself. Be totally honest with yourself about progress so that you can move forward. Remind yourself of your WHY, to help you stay on track. Look at your past slip-ups and put processes in place to make sure you don’t get caught again. Build a strategy that works for you.

Step 11: Making Contact
Reach out to your higher power to find out what it’s purpose for you is. Or connect to your inner God/ Goddess and feel into what your calling could be. Everyone has a gift in life; no matter what it is, there’s something you can offer the world. When you’re working toward this purpose is when you’ll feel happiest.

Step 12: Service
Service is all about action. This stage is about giving back. For the rest of your life, apply everything you have learned on this journey to help you build a brighter future for yourself. Help others, take somebody under your wing, serve and protect your family and friends. Mentor someone, uplift someone, share your gifts with the world. Building strong morals and supporting those around you will make you a pillar of strength in your family, friend group or community.

When I was studying psychology, I spent time volunteering at alcohol rehab clinics, assisting in the group therapy. I learned so many things in that time.
At the end of the day, the only way to quit a habit is to QUIT. For once and for all, QUIT. No more excuses or bargaining. Stand resolute in your decision.
This is your time to shine, to feel gratitude to those who have traveled with you through your darkest moments, and to give back. Show them what you are made of and stick to your chosen course through this life. It’s your life, and it’s time to move forward and embrace all the positive experiences that you will create through this process.

I am a life coach and wellness coach.
You can send me a WhatsApp to book a session on 0833613255