Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: Relationship coach

  • Does This Image Trigger You?

    DOES THIS IMAGE TRIGGER YOU?

    Ladies, my posts are for YOU. I spend a good amount of time deleting any unwanted male energy from my profile.
    So why the sexy images? If you are triggered by these, let me tell you my story.

    I was an awkward child, shy and without many friends. If my one and only friend skipped primary school, I would sit alone at break and read my book. I still love reading today, and it has made my journey as an author so much easier too

    When I got to high school, I decided a re-brand was in order. I forced myself to come out of my shell, I made as many friends as I could, and I learned how to speak to boys.
    And you know what happened? The boys liked me too much, and the girls became competitive, bitchy, insecure (let’s face it). Rumours, accusations, even threats of physical violence. Jeez I hated high school! Women are taught at a young age to hate on other women, to slut shame other women, simply because some dude thinks they are pretty or interesting.

    I started modelling at 16, mostly to improve my self esteem. My parents did not understand what I was trying to do, “fake it till you make it”, ya know what I mean? So they weren’t very supportive and there was a lot of criticism. My mother would continually tell me that beauty comes from inside. And she was right, of course, in her own way. At the end of the day we need to focus on our inner selves as well. Find a balance, and the path to self appreciation.

    But here’s the thing, I got the psychology degree, the 2 kids, the divorce because I didn’t play small. I got the life coaching diploma, the pole dancing studio, the yoga qualifications.
    As women we need to come back to wholeness. To self love. To balance.
    Integrating the yin and the yang. Pole dance and burlesque really helped me with self love and appreciation. The kind you can’t get from the outside. From your bored husband or your wandering boyfriend.
    Yes, beauty is on the inside, and learning self love is the greatest journey you will ever embark on.
    But woman have been taught to suppress their sensuality, their goddess energy. To bow under the judgement of others and douse their inner fire.

    Even as an adult, there is pressure to play it down. But being a safe woman does not mean being a small woman. Be out there, by all means, just don’t take someone else’s husband along for the ride!
    And ladies, we are here to support each other and Iift each other up. There should not be competition between strong, or wild women. This woman does not need your man. And let’s be real here for a second. You cannot steal a man who is not willing to be stolen, unless you brought your cable ties and duct tape.

    Women are not just maidens, mothers, whores, crones. We are ALL of these things. And to be a highly functioning woman, a fully integrated embodiment of the divine feminine, we need to embrace all of these aspects of ourselves. Honour our bodies and our needs in a relationship that sees us in all our aspects, or in our sovereign single state.

    So if my posts are provoking an uncomfortable reaction in you, perhaps we could chat about how to integrate these more sensual aspects into your psyche. How to embrace all that you can be, and stop playing small. You are not just somebody’s girlfriend, somebody mother. You are not a washed up ok crone. You are an enchantress, a goddess full of life and love. Do not apologise for your roar, lioness.

    I am a life coach and relationship coach. You can book a session on WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Welcome To The Jungle

    WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

    You know what’s really sexy? A man who is in touch with his emotions.
    One who can talk about them and hold space for yours.
    A man who can listen to your feedback without feeling criticised.
    A man who can listen and respond without lashing out.
    This doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a high value trophy.

    Do you want to know 3 little words that will make her nervous system relax when she comes to you with a problem? 3 words that will turn her into a lamb instead of a snarling She Wolf?
    “Babe, I hear you”.

    Or when she asks you for a change?
    “Babe, I got this”.

    So how do achieve this state in the middle of world war 3 playing out in your kitchen?

    Firstly, JUST… STOP… TALKING.
    Try to listen.
    Even better, do this before she starts losing her mind and shrieking at you. Because let’s face it, she probably didn’t start out shouting at the top of her lungs.
    She came to you with an issue and you deflected it, gasliighted her, got defensive or escalated her tone. You reacted to her reaction to YOUR behaviour. Because no matter what you said or did, she isn’t allowed to show irritation?

    Dude, this war zone could have been prevented with a few emotionally intelligent skills, but here we are. (Again).

    So now you’ve skipped the mediation phase and went straight to DEFCON 1.
    You need crisis management.
    You need to stop what you are doing and put away the big guns. There are no sticks and stones here, only words. (Why is it that most men will rather fight a lion than deal with emotions?)
    This might go against your every instinct, but do not react, or lash out. Do not respond, don’t even fucking blink. Just shut it and listen. It’s not that hard, you got this big boy!
    Then, when she has had her say, tell her that you heard her. Say it.
    “Ok, I hear you”.
    If she does not die of shock on the spot, she will exhale.
    Both of you need to breathe, big slow exhales. Take a few deep breaths. You’ll both need a moment to calm down.

    Now is your time to respond. Not yet with solutions. With confirmation.
    ‘It sounds like you are upset because…’
    ‘I can hear that … is really bothering you’
    ‘Im sorry that … upset you’
    Show her that you understand what she has expressed to you. Gain clarity, mirror her words.
    And if it’s you that is the problem, you’re the lucky bastard who can actually solve this. So that’s a good thing.

    “Babe, I’m going to do better”.
    “Honey, I’m so sorry”.
    “Sweetheart, I got this”.
    No whining, no “I’m trying”, no tantrums.
    Speak in absolutes,
    Take responsibility for your crap, and assure her you have understood the problem. That you have it under control.

    And then most importantly, DO THE THING. There is no room for your good intentions here. Everyone has good intentions. Even psychopaths might start the day without plotting to eat your brains with a nice Chianti.
    There is room for action and problem solving here, and this is where your strength lies. So be reliable, keep your word. Stick to your promises. Formulate an action plan to avoid future pit falls. You’re an intelligent guy, so stop falling into the same trap.

    Get that right, and her nervous system stops the steeple chase and begins to relax. She will stop running away from you, she will stop attacking you. She will begin to feel safe. Fight or flight mode disengaged.

    Words and emotions are not your enemy. Avoidance is.
    Don’t sweep things under the rug, and avoid difficult conversations. Don’t lash out and react with anger everytime she wants to discuss something with you.
    Take a deep breath and hear her out.
    Check in with each other regularly. Are we reaching our goals, are we doing better at XYZ?
    Accept feedback.

    This is how a conscious relationship grows, and you avoid making the same mistakes. .
    This is how you move forward instead of losing your way and walking in circles. Avoid the downward spiral and inevitable decline.
    It’s time to pack away your safari suit and step out of the jungle.

    This is your relationship, not a fucking bear hunt.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. You can book a session with me on WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Enter The Enchantress

    ENTER THE ENCHANTRESS

    I think one of the best things about getting older is learning to stand my ground. People have often underestimated me in the past, made assumptions about my intelligence or my calm nature.

    I have been looked down on as a silly blonde, I have been bullied and often treated with less respect than I deserve. Boundaries trampled and being too nice to say anything about it.

    And then something began to change on the inside as I got older…although I still love to please people, make a good impression and get along…I won’t do it at my own personal expense. I think it boils down to finding confidence in my courage, and learning to speak my mind when I feel that I am being bulldozed. It’s about knowing my worth in business and in my personal life. Connecting to my inner fire and caring less about what people think.

    Especially people who do not matter or who don’t seem to mind the way they behave towards me. And guess what? Nobody died! In fact people respected me more, or are at least a bit more careful about how they treat me or what they say to me.

    So set those boundaries, stand up for yourself and do not entertain toxic people or bullies. They will respect you more for it, or remove themselves from your space.

    I can help you stand in your power too. I offer Life coaching and relationship coaching with a special interest in relationships and women empowerment..Wellness coaching too. Appointments: WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Social Media Mania

    SOCIAL MEDIA MANIA

    So my partner and I have had a few ‘discussions’ about this….some calmer than others!
    Some people are not into social media, which can be a problem if one partner is.
    Your partner might not understand why you are on your phone so much, but it’s not necessarily doom scrolling.
    Sometimes it’s marketing, or content creation. Or selecting a playlist or googling an article.
    But if your partner has a different kind of job, one that ends at 5pm, or one where they are not internet based, they might not understand what you are doing on there all the time!
    It doesn’t mean you are addicted to your phone, as many things can be operated from there.
    So it’s important to set boundaries with social media, for example no phones after dinner. Your clients can wait till office hours, it’s a healthy boundary to set.
    Or offer a quick explanation, for example, I’m checking my bank balance so I can recharge the prepaid meter. This should minimise the annoyance your partner might feel about your screen time, imagining you are scrolling rather than spending time with them.

    Also, social media breeds comparison, it sets impossible standards that are not real.
    For example, I get embarassed when I do a birthday post or a gratitude post for my partner when he doesn’t respond. What will people think, is this a one sided relationship?
    But the truth is he is not on social media much, so I have to tell him to go and look at what I wrote.
    And if he wants to show me his appreciation he will make me something with his hands, or show up with a chocolate.

    Social media is the equivalent of public displays of affection, which we all crave, but that doesn’t make it real, it can be quite the opposite in fact!
    You see people gushing over their partner and separated the next day. Its performance and not reality.

    So set some rules of engagement, some healthy boundaries, and communicate more. It will go a long way in your relationship.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. You can book a session with me on WhatsApp 0833613255

  • The Conscious Relationship

    THE CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP

    There has been a lot of talk about conscious relationships, and one of the key ingredients is the ability to talk about our feelings.
    And then how to respond without defensiveness.

    My partner of 6 years once told me he has never discussed his feelings before in a relationship. Never spoken about sex, or any of the other things that come up for us.
    He has had 3 long relationships, yet never felt able or challenged to share his feelings. And the sad part is this is true for many men, taught to suppress their feelings.

    There are 3 phases in a relationship, and I would like to expand on this concept.

    1. The audition phase.
      This is where you show up as your best (and most unrealistic) self. A charade that hooks your partner, but is unsustainable. Or rather disintegrates into complacency.
    2. The shadow boxing stage.
      This is where the love hormones begin to fade and the gremlins come out. Most couples never make it out of this phase, trading up or trading in for another partner. And so the cycle begins again.
    3. The co-creation phase.
      This is where you learn to heal and respond to each other’s shadows in a constructive way, to build something meaningful that goes beyond the oxytocin, the sex, the anger and resentment. This is where you build a future, co-create a life that you both desire, and create a safe space for each other to express your emotions and design a relationship that elevates both partners to even more growth.
      Both of these things are not easy to do at first, but will help you grow through the icky phase into a better version of you as a couple.

    It may be uncomfortable, it may be hard, but with the right partner it is worth it. So, are you addicted to oxytocin, jumping ship when things get rough…forever chasing that love hormone?
    Or are you in it for the full rollercoaster ride, and maybe, just maybe, with the right person….you will co-create something beautiful.

    WhatsApp bookings for Relationship coaching and life coaching
    0833613255

  • The Cycle Of Death & Rebirth

    Image by XOXO Photography

    THE CYCLE OF REBIRTH

    Sometimes rebirth can feel like a death to the ones left behind, yet this cycle is essential for growth, change and happiness.

    Yesterday my daughter and new son in law boarded a plane for Australia.
    We have shared our lives and our home for 22 years. We have built such a beautiful life together, and now a new cycle is beginning. What a brave and wonderful adventure to embark on.

    And what a loss for those of us who are left behind.
    Having a child is like feeling your heart beating outside your body. Living, loving, hurting with no way to keep it safe.

    I knew this day would come, and worked tirelessly for a year to make it happen for you.
    Citizenship
    Passports
    Driving lessons
    Dentists
    Doctors
    Wedding plans
    Packing a life into 3 suitcases.

    Perhaps the definition of love is to do things for somebody even though the outcome will hurt you.
    Learning to surrender to something you cannot control or change.
    What an experience this life is turning out to be.

    The highs
    The lows
    The uncertainty

    And yet the cycle goes on.
    Death, rebirth, grief, denial, bargaining, acceptance still loading.

    Tam and Lance, I know in my heart you will create a beautiful new life in Australia, full of love, new experiences and adventure. Go and share your magic with the world ✨

    I love you both and we will see each other again. This is going to be a lot to get used to, for all of us.
    Bon voyage ❤️

  • Red Ridinghood & The Wolf

    Model: Candice Storm, Photographer: Mark Greenslade

    RED RIDING HOOD AND THE WOLF
    Just because he is pursuing you, doesn’t mean he deserves to have you, ladies. We’ve been taught that our value lies in being wanted, to be flattered by being noticed, that being chased means being chosen. But sometimes being chosen just means being used. Afterall, who is doing the choosing? Do you really want him, or do you just want to be wanted? Not everyone who chases you is for you, or even good for you, and people have their own agendas. Some men will choose you to fulfil their needs, to extract your feminine essence from you. While others might choose you to uplift and worship you, and it’s not always easy to see the difference at the outset.

    We’ve all done it. Started a relationship with somebody because it felt so great to feel chosen. But then you have a huge rupture in that relationship because of something he has done and he says, “at least I don’t cheat on you.” (Insert here that amazing thing you are supposed to be grateful for). And for a moment we are grateful for this. But why?
    Why the need for excuses to justify that he is actually such a great guy, despite the fact that he…..?
    Maybe if you’re having to talk yourself into this situationship there could be a red flag (or two) that you’re determined to ignore? To stay in your comfort zone, perhaps?

    So let’s break this down.
    This dude wants you to overlook his toxic behaviour, or maybe his abuse, or perhaps it’s alcoholism, or narcissistic rage…because he knows how to keep his dick in his pants? So we’re all good here?

    Um, ok, so you can insult your partner, attack her, bully her, be a complete waste of space, but she should be grateful to have you because you haven’t been shagging someone else behind her back?
    Or perhaps because no other woman in her right mind would take home such a specimen? And in return for your awesome fidelity she should be your mother, your therapist, your wife, your tantrika? What a great trade off (for YOU, mister)!

    Dear women of the world, please do not settle for this emotional blackmail. Just because he is faithful does not mean he is a good guy. Or that he is even nearly good enough for you.
    You deserve someone who is faithful AND treats you well. Someone who is reliable and provides safety for your weary heart. Your relationship is not a multiple choice test with only one right answer.

    You deserve someone who takes you away for a romantic weekend because they love you, not because they owe you an apology.
    You deserve someone who you can take to your fancy event, or a family lunch with the confidence that they know how to be sober and make you proud.
    The man who will buy you a special gift because you mean the world to him, not the guy who is using his wallet to manipulate you.

    And as for that one who wants to finance a set of double D’s and keeps bringing it up every time you get naked? Well ain’t that just the gift that tells you how sub-standard you are? What a generous guy, please feel free to kick him to the kerb, sis. You are beautiful and worthy and not in need of any further enhancements to suit his tastes, even if he does look like Brad Pitt.

    There are many things that a woman should be grateful for in her relationship, but the fact that he does not beat you up isn’t one of them. You do not have to be grateful for fidelity, or peace, or sobriety.
    These things are a given, they are to be expected and appreciated and returned in kind.

    Now I’m not saying you need to run out the door without regard to your personal safety or the means to feed your children.
    But what I am saying is please stop selling yourself short, today. Take small steps if you have to. Start a gratitude journal celebrating your own charms, romanticise your life, learn how to make yourself feel great, so that you’re not hanging on every word that comes out of his damn mouth. Start formulating a way to improve your relationship, or an exit plan if need be.

    Set some stronger boundaries and call him out on his bullshit, because you deserve a real man. One who provides love and safety and support. Someone who is all in, and wants to build a future with you. Nothing less is worthy of your mind, body and soul.

    Remove the blinkers and ask yourself if you are really lucky to have him, or are you just settling?
    No more kissing frogs, take off that cloak and show the world what you’re made of. An incarnation of the divine feminine, the creator of life and the deepest source of love and sensuality.
    Perhaps it’s time to join the thousands of women who are going boy sober. Not because they can’t get a guy, but because they are waiting for the worthy guy.
    I’ll say it again…it’s not your job to sit around looking pretty and taking shit from some dude. You are worthy of so much more.

    I am a holistic Life Coach and Wellness Coach. If you need to be reminded how amazing you are, you can WhatsApp me to book an appointment. 0833613255

  • The 90 Day Hiatus

    Model: Candice Storm, Snowflake editions

    THE 90 DAY HIATUS
    There is power in reclaiming your space, reclaiming your body, reclaiming your energy.
    There is power in creating the space to reflect and to heal.

    Sometimes, the only way to heal from a rupture is to remove yourself from the triggers. If somebody hurts you, there is this remembrance in your body that will react to the little things that they do, the little reminders of the hurt they caused. This is your body’s response to the trauma. Your body trying to protect you. So you might find yourself in full fight or flight mode over something relatively small, something that’s pointing towards a recurrence of that hurt.
    While you are trying to heal, every tiny incident is going to take you right back there. A setback, but also a form of processing. It might be upsetting, but its completely normal. You will experience high levels of stress and panic, reliving the way the incident made you feel. Your mind is processing and your body is feeling it as if it is real, and on repeat.

    The truth is that if your partner loves you and knows they have caused you pain, they should take steps to shield you from these triggers. A previously unfaithful man should take care not to make comments on other woman’s bodies or lock his phone, for example. An alcoholic talking about booze may send his partner into a distressing spiral, making her re-live the last nasty incident and instantly feeling unsafe.
    If they value the relationship more than their addiction or destructive needs, they need to refrain from saying and doing even small things, because you will be hypersensitive and on high alert for quite some time.
    Holding your breath everytime he speaks, being watchful, walking on egg shells can feel like sleeping with the enemy.

    An unfaithful partner is no longer connected to you, an addict is bringing a third person (or energy) into the relationship too. So while you are advocating for healing and protection, he is hearing nagging, whining, accusing you of being controlling. But the issue is their lack of control. He is so involved in this other energetic intruder that he cannot feel the depth of your despair, hurt, or rage. Your emotional, physical, mental and somatic distress is lost on them, they are emotionally bound to somebody or something else. Obsession sweeping everything else under the rug.

    Yes, you can learn how to manage your reactions with yoga and breathwork, I’ve written about PTSD before. But if he is going to continue to drip feed the trauma and find every loophole, you are going to continue spiralling. It can take a woman two years to recover from trauma, and that’s a single incident. An emotional trauma might be invisible, but it’s the somatic equivalent of a train wreck. Add in some repeat offences and you’re off on an epic healing journey of many years. If a man cannot show up for his own emotional needs, using women or weed to sooth himself, he will struggle to show up to help co-regulate yours. (Of course this can be the other way around too).

    So how do you get out of the loop? The answer is that space might be the ultimate healing tool for your journey towards mental health. Take your power back to heal yourself.
    Limit your exposure to the triggers. Especially if there have been multiple traumas, your I’m -not-safe beacons will be ablaze. Take time and space to reflect, to recalibrate, to grow.
    Your nervous system will begin to regulate outside of the influences that were distressing you.
    You will experience a settling. Of insight, of calm, of clarity.
    You will be able to invest your energy into yourself, pour it into your healing, your hobbies, your projects.
    When you pull your energy back to yourself you will start a growth cycle that is exponential.
    You will start to feed your soul and your soul will start to nourish you back.

    In the context of a relationship, it’s a win win. Both parties getting the time to reflect, to invest in themselves, to regulate their nervous systems. For him (or her) to learn self soothing and healthy coping patterns.
    To choose differently, design a way forward consciously. With each other or perhaps without.

    90 days in the context of a lifetime is well worth the time, and can bring massive rewards with very little time invested, in the grand scheme of things.
    It can allow the breaking of old, destructive patterns, and shift thought processes into a healthier space.
    You can create a regulated somatic state, without another person drawing on the energy you are generating.
    A state where you are not longer highly reactive, and can navigate challenges with more calm and detachment.
    You can release trauma and gain self awareness, as well as greater insight into your situation.
    It’s not a luxury, sometimes it’s a necessity.
    When it comes to re-wiring your brain, there is magic in the 90 day journey.

    I am a life coach and relationship coach.
    WhatsApp bookings 0833613255

  • Goddess Rising

    GODDESS RISING

    Today I was asked an interesting question. As I blend psychology, sensuality and woman empowerment into my coaching practice, what unexpected breakthroughs have I watched unfold?

    I often find the women who try my programs don’t fit into any specific box. Often it’s a break up, and they are looking to reclaim their bodies and minds. It’s very gratifying to watch the process as their confidence returns.
    Also, the types of women who are drawn to my programs are very diverse, from doctors to teenagers to retired ladies, it’s truly amazing to realise you cannot put women into a box. Yes, you can be a lawyer or a housewife and still feel hot AF when you attend a goddess styled workshop. I’m talking burlesque, pole dance, air yoga, mermaiding. There are so many fun and beautiful ways to connect with your inner goddess. Your wild woman, your enchantress.

    As for unexpected breakthroughs…We’ve had a few unexpected pregnancies! Working with the goddess frequencies, the sacral Chakra, the divine feminine can activate your fertility too. Women are the creators of life, we embody the divine feminine, so watch out!

    It’s not just a dance class, or a quick coaching session. Change will be a beautiful outcome, but the process can also be messy. Challenging your self limiting beliefs, and shedding what no longer serves you. But also, as a woman grows she might outgrow existing relationships which can be bitter sweet.
    Letting go can be one of the hardest challenges you will face, but one of the most rewarding when you are out the other side.

    I am a Life Coach and Wellness Coach, you can book a session with me via WhatsApp 0833613255

  • The Slut Phase

    Model: Candice Storm, Photographer Alan Perring

    THE SLUT PHASE

    You know, you really gotta love the way society vilifies a woman who is exploring her sexuality. I mean, nobody calls out men for sleeping around after a divorce, at least not in a derogatory way. It’s feels like her body is public property, and everyone takes it personally when she chooses to have a casual sexual encounter. The slut phase, or hoe phase, charmingly refers to those times when a woman emerges from a break up and spends some time experimenting with other sexual partners.

    So let’s unpack this a little.

    Firstly, the rebound.
    You survived your last relationship, or perhaps limped out of there with your heart in pieces and your halo bent and twisted. Your womb a sexual desert and your mind full of the rejection you felt after all those nights lying next to a partner who was no longer connected with you. I’m talking mind, body, soul connection. There is nothing quite as lonely as lying in bed with somebody who no longer sees you, or even worse, is seeing somebody else.

    So you pick up your pride and your pantihose, and you sneak out in the middle of the night. Or perhaps there was the big showdown, the one where they tell you what they really think of you, no holds barred. So you cry and lick your wounds, painfully aware that you need more, that you are worth more.

    And then in search of presence, you find yourself settling for performance instead. Your womb rejoices at being chosen again, your body rides the oxytocin train, and you feel wanted, sexy and sexually liberated. And there is nothing wrong with this phase, it can form a vital part of your healing process. You embrace your sexual autonomy and elect to enjoy sex just because it feels good and uncomplicated. You get to rediscover your sexual identity after years of compromise, or you want to explore what your needs and wants are after settling too soon with your high school sweetheart. It’s less about being with other people, and more about being with yourself in different contexts.
    Free from the constraints of your relationship, you may discover certain dormant parts of yourself re-emerging as you let go of certain roles, such as the ‘responsible partner’, or ‘handbrake’. But just don’t stay there for too long, sweetheart, because outer validation can start feeling like a different kind of loneliness when you wake up alone, the sheets still warm from your last blistering encounter.
    You might start to feel like you have abandoned your value to seek sexual attention and the illusion of love. And enmeshing your creative life force with unworthy men can start to seem like a risk to your peace of mind and your energy field.
    Your body deserves to be more than a vessel for revenge, for proving how quickly you could replace him.
    The best way to get over somebody is not to get under somebody. So take care not to get emotionally attached because your ovaries are screaming for a new baby daddy, because you might just be emotionally abandoning yourself in this quest for empty pleasure.
    Enjoy the fun and adventures for a while if a distraction is what you need, and be wary of the health risks while you’re at it, but there is still work to be done to avoid replaying the same old toxic patterns. The ones you bravely but just barely managed to tear yourself away from last time you escaped your relationship wreck.
    Casual sex is a coping method, and it’s important to be honest with yourself and your partners during this phase. It shouldn’t be a substitute for processing your divorce, rather view it as just a component of your healing journey.

    Then comes the assimilation phase, the time where you (hopefully) settle down into your single life for a while. Unpack those emotional bags and air out the dirty laundry. This is the phase where the self work begins.
    It’s important to take this time to re-evaluate your life, your choices. To do some soul searching. Afterall, you are no longer the same person you were before your last relationship disaster. You have shrunk yourself to fit into someone else’s life, you have doubted your value, you have tried and failed and tried again. You have experienced life lessons, and now is the time to learn from them. To build yourself up. To figure out what you really want, not just chase after the next dude because he is the opposite of your ex.
    And this is the phase that takes time. It takes soul searching, it takes inward journeying, it takes tears. It takes self love.

    But if you can do this without skipping blindly into the next situationship? You will enter the reclamation phase. You will emerge like a butterfly from your chrysalis, with beautiful new wings. You will be crystal clear on your hopes and dreams, and pursue them fearlessly without falling into someone else’s. You will avoid the honey traps that await you, and wait for something better, something more meaningful, more fulfilling.
    Hell, you will create something more beautiful all by yourself. And once you have done this, you will attract your new partner, not chase him. Someone who is aligned with your values and truly sees you for who you are, because you know and love yourself.

    So have your fun if that’s what you need to do, release any shame that might be attached to your sexual revolution, and then come back to your authentic self. Divorce is not a failure, it’s an opportunity to build something better this time.

    I am a holistic life coach and relationship coach. You can book an appointment via WhatsApp 0833613255.