Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: Relationship coach

  • Polarity Isn’t Progress

    POLARITY ISN’T PROGRESS

    Polarity is a reaction to feminism. A reset for the idea that a woman can (and should) do everything by herself. There is a lot of talk on the Internet about polarity, especially in the Manosphere. This concept of how a woman should think and act does not take into account personal traits and preferences. What she should expect from her life, what her role is in society applies a blanket rule for all.

    And how alpha /real men are providers, again ignoring personality types and individual differences. Hell, half the men I’ve seen online are in their princess era! Some are body builders and some wear makeup, and some do both.
    When you try to squeeze an entire gender into one small box, it all gets really toxic really fast.

    Everybody is different, we are all unique individuals, yes…even the ‘females’, as the Manosphere likes to refer to us as. There is no one-size-fits-all in human relationships or psychology. Not even from an evolutionary or cultural perspective, where some societies are matriarchal and some are patriarchal. Where Amazon’s were warriors and men were subservient while other societies cast women into the submissive role.

    So let’s turn gender bias on its ass for a second. Some women like to provide, and some men like to stay at home and take care of the family. Some women are body builders and some men are ultra-fem. And that’s ok!
    Women are gender policed because they are too strong, too muscular, too independent. Or too sexy, too promiscuous, too independant. Men are policed too, because they are too soft, too feminine, too simp, too homo, too alpha.

    While men are encouraged to integrate their feminine side in some circles, women who embrace their masculine side are criticised in others. We are called bitch, butch, scary, liberated. They are called conscious, enlightened, or homo. It depends who you ask.

    How about we take each person as an individual, in a world where variety is interesting and even entertaining?
    Calling a strong woman butch or a soft man a simp is a form of bullying I have encountered a few times in my life, and I found it to be really upsetting.

    After some thought and some insightful chats to other strong women, I have come to realize something I already knew on an intellectual level. I just needed to remove the emotional sting. Return the energy to sender. Accept and love the path that I have chosen, or change it for my own reasons.

    *At the end of the day, we should all be striving to integrate elements of our opposite gender to be better balanced humans.
    *People who shame others are doing it out of their own insecurities.
    *Body shaming is just a form of gender stereotyping and bullying, don’t ever feel the need to fit into anybody’s mould.
    *Rise above comments that do not deserve a response.
    *People who are trying to pull you down are already below you.

    Let’s pack away these ridiculous boxes and try to not be kak humans, ok?

    I am a holistic life coach & wellness coach, registered traditional doctor with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Goddess Rising

    Image by Ken Lovell, Model Mermaid Storm

    GODDESS RISING

    The Goddess Was Never Pure.
    Somewhere along the way, a woman’s worth became entangled with the idea of purity.
    Untouched. Unclaimed. Unmarked.
    But if we look back—before modern shame, before rigid moral codes, before the policing of women’s bodies—we find something radically different.
    We find goddesses, and they were never pure.
    They were sensual, desiring, expressive, embodied. They loved deeply, often, and freely. Their sexuality was not a stain on their divinity—it was an extension of it. It was creative force. It was life itself.
    The ancient feminine was not revered for restraint. She was revered for power.
    She was the lover and the creator. The seductress and the destroyer. The one who felt everything and withheld nothing.
    She was whole.

    The Invention of “Purity”
    Purity, as we understand it today, is not an ancient truth. It is a social construct—one that emerged as systems of control over women’s bodies became more rigid.
    A woman’s sexuality became something to regulate.
    To contain.
    To measure.
    Her value became tied to what she had not done, rather than who she was.
    Virginity became currency. Modesty became morality. Desire became danger.
    And slowly, the narrative shifted:
    From “She is divine because she embodies life”
    To “She is worthy only if she remains untouched.”

    The Modern Contradiction.
    Today, women live inside a paradox.
    Their bodies are everywhere—advertised, stylized, filtered, sold. Sexuality is used to market everything from perfume to protein shakes. Entire industries are built on the consumption of the female form.
    And yet-
    The same woman who is desired can be diminished.
    The woman who expresses her sexuality openly can be judged.
    The woman who profits from her body can be dehumanized.
    She is told:
    Be desirable, but not experienced.
    Be sexy, but not sexual.
    Be wanted, but not wanting.
    And if she crosses that invisible line—if she owns her desire instead of performing it—her worth is questioned.

    The Goddess in the “Impure”
    What if we rejected this entirely?
    What if we remembered that a woman does not lose her divinity through experience?
    That her body is not something that can be “used up”?
    That desire does not diminish her—it animates her?
    A woman who has loved many times is not less sacred.
    A woman who has explored her sexuality is not less worthy.
    A woman working within the sex trade is not less human, less deserving of dignity, less divine.
    She is still a body that feels.
    A heart that knows.
    A soul that exists beyond the projections placed upon her.

    Reclaiming the Sacred Body
    To see yourself as a goddess is not about perfection, it’s about modern feminism.
    It is not about purity.
    It is about sovereignty.
    It is about returning to the truth that your body is yours—not a moral scoreboard, not a commodity for judgment, not a thing to be ranked or reduced.
    Your body is an instrument of experience.
    A vessel of sensation.
    A living expression of life force.
    And life force does not ask for permission to be worthy.

    Before shame was taught, pleasure was natural.
    Before bodies were controlled, they were celebrated.
    Before purity was demanded, women were simply… powerful.
    This is not about rejecting sexuality.
    It is about reclaiming it from systems that distort it.
    It is about seeing yourself—not through the lens of judgment—but through the ancient remembering:
    That the goddess was never untouched.
    She was alive.
    And that aliveness is your birthright.

    I am a life coach, relationship coach and registered traditional doctor.
    You can send me a WhatsApp to book a session with me.
    083 263 5569

  • How The 777 Rule Can Save Your Relationship

    HOW THE 777 RULE CAN SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

    How the 777 Rule can save your relationship 💓

    Most relationships go through difficult patches, uninspired patches, emotional lows. The 777 rule is a relationship framework designed to keep marriages or long-term partnerships strong by prioritizing intentional quality time.

    So if you’re feeling unexcited, uninspired or disconnected from your partner, why not try the 777 rule? The first step is to have a discussion about it to avoid disappointment and make sure you’re on the same page. Be honest about your feelings and needs, the room mate phase can be brutal if one of you is feeling rejected or unappreciated.

    It consists of three habits:
    Every 7 days have a date night
    Every 7 weeks take a night away
    Every 7 months plan a romantic getaway. This structure helps couples reconnect, break routines, and maintain intimacy.

    Core Components of the 777 Rule:
    Every 7 Days (Date Night): Regular, uninterrupted time together. It does not need to be expensive or out of the house; it can be a “table time” chat, a movie night, or a meal without distractions.

    Every 7 Weeks (Overnight Trip): A mini-getaway such as a night in a local hotel or a weekend camping trip, to step away from daily responsibilities.

    Every 7 Months (Vacation): A more extended trip to focus entirely on each other, providing a deeper chance for connection, adventure, or relaxation.

    The 777 rule tackles the lack of time that can cause relationships to fade by making togetherness a consistent, scheduled priority. It also gives the male partner the opportunity to take the lead in building intimacy in the relationship, something the woman usually craves and reaches for.

    It is designed to be flexible, focusing on the intention of connecting, rather than strict, expensive, or complex plans. Quality time which can encourage a deeper connection emotionally and physically.

    Above all else, keep the lines of communication open. Make sure you are both on board, it can be very disappointing if your partner fails to follow through on date night. Perhaps discuss taking turns to ‘treat’ one another. A lack of quality time is one of the easiest things to repair if both of you are willing, and it will bring great rewards to your relationship.

    I am a holistic Life Coach, traditional Doctor and Relationship Coach.
    Get in touch with me to book a session on my WhatsApp line.
    +27 83 263 5569

    “Your most inspired life is crafted element by element”

  • Practical Steps To Make Your Husband Feel Seen.

    PRACTICAL STEPS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND FEEL SEEN

    For a working woman, the effort she makes for her husband in a modern marriage has shifted away from chores and servitude, to center more on partnership, empathy, and maintaining a nurturing connection. Rather than outdated notions of servitude, a dual-career household requires the focus to be on proactive communication, emotional support, and quality time over sheer physical labor.
    Here are the types of effort that strengthen a marriage when both spouses work:

    Nurturing the Emotional Connection
    -Active Listening & Empathy: Create a safe space for him to discuss his day without fear of judgment. Listen to understand his stresses rather than to immediately respond. But put a limit on it to not poison the whole evening with a kind gesture or distraction.
    -Show Appreciation and Validation: Regularly thank him and acknowledge his efforts to provide and care for the family, which boosts his confidence.
    -Be a Team Player: Approach life’s challenges together, ensuring you are aligned on goals and values, viewing a “win” for one as a win for the team.

    Proactive Communication and Support
    -Express Needs Clearly: Communicate your needs and desires directly instead of expecting him to guess, reducing misunderstandings.
    -Support His Goals: Champion his dreams and aspirations, offering encouragement when he feels demotivated.
    -Respect Him in Public: Be mindful of showing respect and appreciation, especially in front of friends or family, which protects his dignity.

    Fostering Intimacy and Togetherness.
    -Prioritize Quality Time: Dedicate time, such as a weekly date night, to connect and have fun together, keeping the romance alive.
    -Maintain Physical Intimacy: Understand and address the importance of intimacy in the relationship. This does not refer only to sexual intimacy, but to activities that strengthen your emotional bond and bring you closer together to make this possible.
    -Small Gestures of Love: Leave notes, surprise him with a favorite meal, or offer acts of service that show you are thinking of him.

    Efficient Household Partnership.
    -Shared Responsibilities: Work together to assign clear tasks for cooking, cleaning, and managing finances, rather than trying to do everything alone.
    -Flexibility During Tough Times: Offer grace and support, particularly when the other is having a difficult week.
    -Set Boundaries for Work: Agree on rules like “no business talk at dinner” to ensure your home remains a place of rest rather than an extension of the office.

    Self-Care.
    -Prioritize well-being: Work can be hectic, but make time to maintain your own physical and mental health. This will help you to be fully present and supportive, while feeling good within yourself. A healthy partner makes for a better partner, so make time for exercise and self-care.

    Ultimately, the best effort is one that fosters love, respect, and a “team-first” mentality, rather than merely balancing chores. The first step is simply to be kind to one another.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • The Cracked Mirror

    THE CRACKED MIRROR
    In my business I get to meet so many amazing women.
    Beautiful women.
    Vivacious women.
    Accomplished women.
    Compassionate women.

    And yet…they do not see themselves the way I see them.
    I could edit the most gorgeous photograph of one, poetry in motion. And you know what she will see? Tummy rolls. Like we are programmed to zoom in on our flaws, and disregard the positives.

    Often women fail to see the bigger picture, and get stuck on their imperfections. And it is this habit that erodes our self esteem. We are trained to look for our flaws rather than focus on our strengths. We grow up deflecting compliments and staying humbled by the judgements of others.
    We internalise those judgements until our own inner critic is more brutal than anyone on the outside could ever be.

    I am no different, I even resorted to plastic surgery in my 20’s. Despite the fact that I had so many amazing things going for me, I zeroed in on that one perceived flaw. And what followed was a disastrous sequence of events that affected my self esteem, my finances, my relationship, even my a ability to work.

    What women do not realise is that they’re already the full package. And that the more we recognise our own gifts, the more gratitude and self appreciation will fill our lives and change it’s very course.

    If you believed in yourself, what bold and brave choices might you make?
    How would you make love if you felt beautiful?
    What romantic partner would you seek if you felt worthy?

    The way we see ourselves is what will shape our lives, and this applies to men as well, naturally. But the women…all tangled up in how society expects us to look, it’s a travesty and a tragedy. It’s an added layer of ‘I’m not good enough’ and it can poison your entire life. When I acknowledge the amount of self loathing that women live with, I wonder how they manage to get out of bed in the morning.

    So just for today, start a journal.
    Each morning write in it something you like about yourself.

    Put a post it note on your mirror-“You are beautiful”
    Let’s shift the narrative.
    Let’s change our mindsets.
    We are enough.

    And just for today, do something nice for yourself. A flower on your coffee tray, some bubbles in your bath. Because you are worthy.
    Start a pattern that will change your mindset day by day.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Menopause Mayhem-Volume One

    MENOPAUSE MAYHEM-VOLUME ONE

    Menopause Mayhem- Volume 1
    For every woman experiencing the train wreck that is menopause, there is the realisation that the information around it does not flow freely. Yes, we all know about rage and mood swings, but there is so much more.
    I’ve been doing some research, and I’ll be sharing it to raise awareness, because I understand how it can feel like you’re going crazy and don’t know why!

    Today’s issue: Sensory Overload
    Did you know that menopause can cause sensory issues? This can lead to heightened sensitivity (sensory overload) or altered sensations like skin prickling, taste/smell changes, and balance problems, largely due to fluctuating estrogen affecting brain chemistry (serotonin, dopamine) and nerve pathways, impacting how you perceive the world. These shifts can make you more sensitive to lights, sounds, textures, and smells, impacting daily coping.

    Here are some common Menopause-Related Sensory Issues:
    Heightened Sensitivity (Overload):
    Your partner has verbal diarrhoea while you’re trying to watch a movie and it’s taking every ounce of self control not to stab him with your dinner fork. Normal stimuli (lights, noises, crowds, textures) can feel overwhelming, triggering panic or needing to escape.

    Altered Skin Sensations: Are your feet on fire, without doing the fire walk your guru says will change your life? You might be experiencing formication (insects crawling), burning, itching, numbness, or tingling (paresthesias).

    Taste & Smell Changes: You used to love mincemeat and now you can’t even cook it without gagging like an adult film star.
    Fluctuations in estrogen can alter your sense of smell and taste, or cause a burning mouth sensation (burning mouth syndrome).

    Balance & Coordination: You tried to catch the cat, went flying out of your bedroom door and impaled your boob on the garden gnome. Changes in the cerebellum, affected by hormones, can lead to dizziness, vertigo, clumsiness, and spatial disorientation.

    Touch Sensitivity: Your forehead is flaking like an old paint job and you have to sit on your hands to stop clawing at your face.
    Skin can become drier and more sensitive, or conversely, responsiveness to touch (even intimate) might decrease.

    Why It Happens:
    -Estrogen Decline: Estrogen influences neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, crucial for mood, cognition, and sensory processing. Lower levels disrupt these pathways, lowering your sensory threshold.
    -Nervous System Impact: Hormonal shifts affect nerve function, potentially increasing pain perception and disrupting sensory input.

    If you have read this and some of these issues have resonated with you, there are some things you can do.
    Now that you know you’re not going crazy, give some thought to how you can adapt to this new and confusing version of you. Recognising these changes are hormonal, not you being “difficult,”is the first step. Try adjusting your environment (dim lights, quiet spaces) to feel more comfortable.

    Seek support from a doctor or therapist, or life coach like me. A menopause coach perhaps, it’s important to speak with somebody who has knowledge of menopause and its symptoms. Women have been gaslit by the medical community for far too long. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help manage overwhelming feelings, and is such a great life skill to learn in general.

    Start managing underlying factors like getting a hormone test and putting in place a plan to correct them holistically or with HRT. Address stress, sleep, and overall health, as these can worsen sensory issues. Once you’ve realised you’re not the problem and your hormones are betraying you, you can approach these challenges with more insight and patience, and make some key changes to suit this latest version of you. After all, sometimes a little rage is a valid and necessary thing. People pleasing is so last decade. Anyway, this is me signing off because my socks are driving me nuts…

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • When The Tide Turns: Rising Against the Waves of Gender-Based Violence.

    Model: Mermaid Storm, Tog: Uwe Jacobs

    WHEN THE TIDE TURNS: RISING AGAINST THE WAVES OF GENDER BASED VIOLENCE.

    There has been a lot of sharing lately, with the Woman For Change protest making it onto the G20 agenda. Around the world, women are fighting for their lives. In South Africa this is especially true. There has been a rise in gender based violence and femicide in South Africa this past year, and WFC are campaigning to have this declared a national disaster.

    Women have been encouraged to share their experiences of GBV, not for sympathy but to create awareness of what it means to be a woman who is more likely to be killed by her partner than by a complete stranger. A partner who probably considers himself to be a nice guy, and not a criminal…

    Some men don’t understand how women are always looking over their shoulders as they walk to the shop. Always scanning the room for threats. How they profile each man they encounter before going on a date. Picking the safest restaurant, not disclosing their address, wired for fight or flight. It must be cool to be the apex predator, afraid of no one, except maybe another man. But some men do not wield that power to serve and protect. Some men use their power to take what is not theirs. Men you know at work. Men sitting at your dinner table.

    I have had a few frightening experiences with men. I don’t believe I know any woman who hasn’t. Some of these things I have not thought about in years. But now we are being called to share.

    For me, this is how it looked from a very young age.
    There were times where kissing nearly turned into unwanted, coercive s3x in high school, and times where I have felt immense pressure as an adult too. I consider myself lucky that my NO was accepted, if not all that gracefully.

    I have had hands around my throat, only 16 years old, and being thrown to the ground. This was the price I paid because I requested a song from the DJ. I have been shoved in a night club for wanting to dance with my friends instead of some guy.

    I have been threatened with violence by men who couldn’t bend me to their will.
    To burn my house down.
    To set me on fire.
    To report me (for my daughter’s weed trees) to the police.
    To have me thrown in jail as revenge for not capitulating.
    I have been shoved across the bed when he couldn’t climax. Been held hostage when I wanted to leave.
    There is this mindset amongst some men, that they are entitled to their way, no matter what the price to be paid.

    So I share these experiences not for sympathy, but for awareness.

    But by far the worst abuse I have received is emotional. For me, this seems to last much longer. But I guess that’s only because nobody ever followed through with the ‘Till-Death-Do-Us-Part’ experience. However, I have gained full access to the Post Traumatic Stress experience, which sat within my nervous system far longer than the threat of violence ever did.

    Some words cannot be unheard. They are spells that haunt you even if you know in your heart they are not true. The body shaming. The put downs about my intellect, my business, my children, my dog. (I’m truly grateful she is deaf 🤣)
    Words piled on the fire to explode like shrapnel into soft flesh. Missiles fired at the ones you’re supposed to love. The mindset: maybe if I make her small enough she will love me again.

    In truth, my experience of physical violence has created much fear in the moment, and faded in time. But I consider myself lucky that it has not been worse. And that in itself is pretty fucked up.

    So before you knee jerk your way into looking like a complete narcisist, please don’t comment on this post about how #not-all-men are like this. Women already know this.
    But some men are like this, and this post is about my lived experiences with them. So if this post triggers you, ask yourself if you are really against women fighting to be safe in the streets, even safe in their homes? Is your ego so fragile that you would derail a movement like this to protect yourself because women are talking about GBV and you just happen to be a man? Are you standing with women, or upholding the ‘Bro Code’ no matter what? You do not have to be a feminist to understand that women do not want to be beaten, raped, threatened or murdered. If you cannot stand with women on this, are you at least not standing in their way?

    And to all the women out there who are surviving rape, attempted murder or constant emotional assault, I encourage you to share your story, but above all be safe. Let’s create awareness, these are not isolated incidents and women are fighting for their lives out there.

    There are songs beneath the waves, songs of gender based violence. Don’t let your voice be drowned out by the sounds of this rising storm. Rise above it, stand firm and take a sister by the hand. Together we rise.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • The Scarlet Woman

    Model Candice Storm, Tog Tanya Borchers

    THE SCARLET WOMAN

    You’ve all seen her, or perhaps been her. The woman in the red dress, full red lips, hot red heels.

    It’s so strange how colour can be associated with implied behaviour. Or a certain style of clothing. And that is because as human beings we take mental short cuts. It’s too much trouble to relate to every woman on an individual level, so our brains take a mental short cut and stereotype people. So the woman dressed in red becomes the Scarlet Woman. The easy woman, the prostitute. Or the one dressed in leather, or the one in that mini skirt. The man in the pink shirt must be gay. You know what I mean.

    But here’s the truth. Certainly some women are wearing that red dress (or whatever) for attention. But many are not.
    Some are wearing it because it feels good to wear it. Because red is their colour, or because she feels the lines flatter her body.
    For many woman, dressing in red (or leather, or whatever) is not about you at all. It’s not about men at all.
    It’s about her reclaiming the right to feel good, or wild, or sassy in her own body. It does not make her available. Or if she’s married, it does not mean she is looking for somebody better.
    It means she is looking to better herself.
    (Or if she is married and looking for somebody better, caging her won’t change that)

    There are many reasons a woman might dress in an alluring manner. And most of them have little to do with anybody else.

    *She might be recaliming her sensuality. There are many times in a woman’s life where she might have lost herself along the way. Pregnancy. Motherhood. Your infidelity.
    Phases where she has not had the time or energy to take care of herself. And phases where she has felt an awakening of herself before all the responsibility robbed her of her time or will to feel beautiful.

    * She might have let herself go physically. Bodies come and go, there are periods of self- indulgence, or emotional eating followed by periods of getting her shit together at the gym. And the feeling of accomplishment deserves a celebration.

    *Mentally, periods of grief or loss might shift her focus away from her own health for a time. Depression can really suck everything beautiful out of your life, including your self esteem. And to rise from that and wear something that makes flher feel beautiful is to reclaim her true essence before the trauma ripped it to pieces.

    *Emotionally, she might have been struggling to get out of bed for so long that she forget how to put on her lipstick. Where the tears made her give up on wearing mascara. Times when she forgot how doing her hair and wearing something sassy could be good for her soul.

    *Perhaps she had a partner who tried to keep her small, who told her to fly under the radar or risk being left alone. A toxic relationship or an abusive marriage. And perhaps she began to see that a partner who tries to keep her small does not really have her best interests at heart. Only his own.

    A woman in a red dress (or whatever) does not mean she is searching for something outside of her marriage. Perhaps she is reconnecting with something inside of herself that she lost along the way. Perhaps she decided to ‘fake it till she makes it’ back to her former self. The one with confidence and a twinkle in her eye.

    A woman in a red dress (or whatever) does not mean she is ‘searching’ or ‘selling’. She is a woman who is embodying her inner goddess. One who is expressing herself without fear. One who is growing, rising within her own potential. And this has nothing to do with you, your husband, or even her own partner if she has one.
    Most of the time, it has everything to do with her rebirth.

    And if it is your partner in scarlet, give her the support she needs to grow and shine. As this is also a reflection of your love and light. Nobody wants to live in a cage. Everybody has the need to find their way back to themselves. To express themselves. Nobody does well in captivity. Your partner is far more likely to run away if you continue to cage her, than if you accept that all people deserve to be free. As a man, providing a safe space for her to grow in her power and personal expression is an embodiment of your divine masculine.

    There can be a lot of fear caused by underlying insecurity, which will surface when a woman starts looking after herself, and wearing that sexy dress. That is your projection of your own insecurities onto her, and not a prediction of her behaviour. Policing her wardrobe is not what will keep her faithful to you, and allowing her freedom in what she wears will not be the cause of her running off with somebody new.
    And if she does, it has nothing to do with her outfits and everything to do with the state of your relationship.
    Likewise, slut shaming a sexy lady is not going to stop your husband from lusting after her. Only he can do that.
    Women don’t need another cage. And if that baggy T-shirt is the only thing holding your relationship together, there are bigger problems to solve than what is in her draw.

    A man who understands she is not running away from him, but running towards herself, is a man who understands how to attract his mate, rather than trap her. And in this freedom of choice that you provide lies the power. For everyone. Let her choose you. And in turn, she allows you to choose her, in true freedom.

    There is no other way.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • The Crime Of Flying Solo.

    THE CRIME OF FLYING SOLO

    Let’s talk about being single…
    Recently a man responded to one of my posts , saying ‘no wonder you are single’, meant as an insult and a judgement. But sometimes your relationship is just cortisol wrapped in cologne, honey.

    Here are my thoughts:

    There is this idea that a woman only has value of she has been chosen by a man. That a single woman is somehow defective. That the only way a woman can command respect or stature in society is by being somebody’s wife. That a woman needs the back-up of a man in order to be heard, or be successful. But these are outdated patriarchal ideas that have become part of the fabric of our collective unconscious. And they are not correct.

    I do believe that we are wired to want connection. That human beings love the idea of being chosen. That we crave intimacy and physical touch, perhaps a over all else. We are social beings and biologically driven to search for sex. But sex is not intimacy. And when we start to discern this, we can re-imagine this biological blueprint.

    In this era, in this country a woman can earn her own money, drive her own car, and buy her own home. So why are we still clinging to the idea that we need to be in a romantic relationship? Don’t get me wrong, I love a romantic relationship as much as the next person, but the truth is that many of us are clinging to liaisons way beyond their sell by date. Habit? Convenience? Perhaps. But also because we have come to believe that being in a relationship is somehow superior to being single.


    However, if you have ever been single for a period of time, you might have discovered that being single is a powerful and self-affirming choice.
    Being single is a state of unapologetic independence.
    It’s the choice of self reliance, of friendship over romantic love.
    And let’s face it, romantic love isn’t always so romantic.
    Being single is choosing peace over conflict.
    Choosing happiness over mediocrity or hurt.
    It’s being happy with your own company, comfortable in your own space.
    To travel solo and meet new people outside of your comfort zone.
    Being single is choosing freedom, embracing our wildness and being open to new possibilities.
    Being single is a conscious choice to wait for the right time or right person.
    To not settle, or stay stuck.

    Most importantly, being single is choosing yourself, and this is not selfish. Calling back your energy is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. By doing this you are investing in yourself. Making time for your own projects and passions instead of investing in somebody else’s.

    Some of the most productive times in my life have been when I was single. Even when I chose to sit with my unhappiness… writing, journeying, contemplating. Choosing to sit with my trauma until I understood it and could set it free, without the band aid of throwing myself into another relationship..Trying to fix or help a partner rather than myself. This is where personal growth begins. This is the most important journey of your life time, the journey into self.

    I am not single but I am very happy when I am. This image is of me being single at Feel Festival in 2019, feeling ALL of the feels. ❤️

    If you struggle with being single, or are needing to remove yourself from a toxic relationship, let’s talk.
    Book a life coaching session with me online or in perso .

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • Heart Beats & Drum Beats

    HEART BEATS & DRUM BEATS

    Our neighbours called it mindless noise.

    We called it drumming, healing, celebrating and creating ❤️

    Drumming has many medicinal qualities, just not for the neighbours, apparently 🤣

    It releases dopamine, one of the happy hormones in your body.
    It’s a better anti-depressant than anything you can buy over the counter.
    It synchronises heartbeats and minds, creates a sense of community.
    The drumming and dance is a creative process and good for the soul.
    It releases endorphins, another happy hormone.
    Creating music and dance stimulates the body and mind.
    Earthing with your feet absorbs the energies of the Earth and has many health benefits.
    And finally, both drumming and dance can lead to ecstatic states that transcend the human condition ❤️

    It’s what your neighbours used to do before they became couch potatoes. It’s what your tribe did before the warehouses and factories sucked them into the industrial revolution. It’s a reclamation of our ancestral roots.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255