Slut Shaming… Are We Still Doing This?

SLUT SHAMING, ARE WE REALLY STILL DOING THIS?

I have seen some vicious attacks on women lately on social media. Slut shaming is defined as the stigmatization of an individual based on her appearance, sexual availability, and actual or perceived sexual behavior. It can take place in physical or virtual spaces.

One of the biggest problems with slut shaming, is that it is based on rumour or perception rather than fact.

Another problem with slut shaming is gender bias – women or girls are villainized for their appearance or rumoured behaviour, while the same behaviours in men go unnoticed, or are even praised.

Swimwear, streaking, even sexting has different consequences for males and females. The double standard sanctions sexting for girls, while it trivializes it for boys, and this sanction can take the form of slut shaming too. Skinny dipping is just boys being boys, or girls being sluts.

Often, all a girl or woman has to do is be popular, or grow big boobs too soon, and she will attract this reputation from other women / girls who want to be her, and men who want to sleep with her. (Or men who have been rejected by her).

Slut shaming has an impact on the physical and psychological well-being of young girls as early as adolescence.

It’s a form of violence stemming from bullying (or cyber bullying.) The consequences of which have been documented in the scientific literature:
Negative emotions;
Depression
Thoughts of suicide;
Academic difficulties and drop-out;
Relational issues;
Alcohol, tobacco, or substance abuse;
Polyvictimization.

And it’s no different for adult women.
And it’s more than bullying, as it focuses on 1 gender only.
In fact, this type of abuse falls under gender based violence. A vicious attack on the female character and morals, often with no base other than attire or body type. Slut shaming helps to consolidate and perpetuate gender norms and stereotypes and is a form of sexual oppression that is often trivialized.

Self-presentation that is considered overly sexualized is often enough to result in slut shaming without a multiplicity of sexual partners. Or sexual behaviors labelled as “deviant” with respect to the established norms or sexual orientation can lead to slut shaming as well. Just because she wears a harness to a dress up party does not mean she is into BDSM, but all these examples are likely to lead to slut shaming. But only for the female. For example, this image is an outfit I wore on stage for a fire performance at a fetish-styled event. It says absolutely nothing about my morals.

So we’re back to the stigmatisation of women who stand out in their clothing, body type, or who have the sexual ideals of men. We’re back to threatening women with violence, albeit verbal, if they look or act in a way that seems sexual, even if this is not actually the case. We’re back to keeping women small, and using coercion to do so. We’re back to applying one set of rules for females and another for men, in our society where we are supposed to be equal. We’re back to policing women’s bodies, and labelling them as dirty. We’re back to victim- blaming. Back to blaming other women for inciting lustful behaviour in men.
You’ve just set the woman’s rights movement back 200 years, babe. Nothing good can come of this.

All forms of bullying and gender based violence are wrong, even the verbal type. They are damaging and divide women. They break women down where we should be uplifting them.
Women are as free to dress or behave as they please as men are.
And in this country it’s the law.

So next time you find yourself judging a female based on how she is dressed or the shape of her body, take a look at your thought process. Because she is not the problem, you are.

I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.

T/DR Candice Baker
00013133614
You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
+0027833613255