Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: Self love

  • The Cracked Mirror

    THE CRACKED MIRROR
    In my business I get to meet so many amazing women.
    Beautiful women.
    Vivacious women.
    Accomplished women.
    Compassionate women.

    And yet…they do not see themselves the way I see them.
    I could edit the most gorgeous photograph of one, poetry in motion. And you know what she will see? Tummy rolls. Like we are programmed to zoom in on our flaws, and disregard the positives.

    Often women fail to see the bigger picture, and get stuck on their imperfections. And it is this habit that erodes our self esteem. We are trained to look for our flaws rather than focus on our strengths. We grow up deflecting compliments and staying humbled by the judgements of others.
    We internalise those judgements until our own inner critic is more brutal than anyone on the outside could ever be.

    I am no different, I even resorted to plastic surgery in my 20’s. Despite the fact that I had so many amazing things going for me, I zeroed in on that one perceived flaw. And what followed was a disastrous sequence of events that affected my self esteem, my finances, my relationship, even my a ability to work.

    What women do not realise is that they’re already the full package. And that the more we recognise our own gifts, the more gratitude and self appreciation will fill our lives and change it’s very course.

    If you believed in yourself, what bold and brave choices might you make?
    How would you make love if you felt beautiful?
    What romantic partner would you seek if you felt worthy?

    The way we see ourselves is what will shape our lives, and this applies to men as well, naturally. But the women…all tangled up in how society expects us to look, it’s a travesty and a tragedy. It’s an added layer of ‘I’m not good enough’ and it can poison your entire life. When I acknowledge the amount of self loathing that women live with, I wonder how they manage to get out of bed in the morning.

    So just for today, start a journal.
    Each morning write in it something you like about yourself.

    Put a post it note on your mirror-“You are beautiful”
    Let’s shift the narrative.
    Let’s change our mindsets.
    We are enough.

    And just for today, do something nice for yourself. A flower on your coffee tray, some bubbles in your bath. Because you are worthy.
    Start a pattern that will change your mindset day by day.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

    “Your most aligned life is crafted—element by element.”

  • Trial By Fire

    Model: Candice Storm, Tog Ken Lovell

    TRIAL BY FIRE

    We’ve all heard about the witch trials, and I often might make a careless comment about being burned at the stake in a previous lifetime. This is because I am a strong and independent woman, a leader in the field of women empowerment, and quite unapologetically myself. And it was women such as this who were villainized, punished and let’s be blunt…murdered by the patriarchy.

    Shocking, isn’t it?

    But fast forward to 2025, and have things really changed? Or have these sentiments just gone underground?

    It has been called the Witch Wound by some, and patriarchy certainly has a lot to make up for. Their legacy has become a sinister part of the unconscious masculine. An operating system that undermines women in a more covert manner, but threatens them all the same.

    So far in this lifetime I have been threatened thrice by fire;


    The first time it was a man who was living on my property and helping with some building work. He went on to steal my welding machine, my friends welding machine, and we later discovered he stole one from his previous employer as well. So naturally, when I couldn’t recover my welder I told him to leave and changed the locks. And he sent a message to us saying that he hopes I do not like my thatch roof, as it is very flammable. And that he had told his friends about me and how they were very angry. Also, he remarked that he loved me and that we could have been so good together. I sent him a copy of the police report and that was the last I heard of him.

    Then there was the unstable boyfriend. I asked him to leave and he threatened to burn my house down. At what point does mental instability become malice? When does insecurity become criminal? When does I didn’t mean it become inexcusable?

    And then there was the the great psychotic break, where he threatened to set me on fire. Flicking the lighter in front of my face while I refused to engage in the madness. Now I am no victim, and enough is enough, so I pulled him off me by his hair and held his face to the floor till he dropped the lighter. But that moment was truly scarring for me. The post traumatic stress felt debilitating at times, but it only made me more determined to be free to be me.

    The witch wound is a concept referring to the collective, intergenerational trauma passed down from the historical persecution of those accused of witchcraft, particularly during the “Burning Times”. It manifests as a deep-seated fear of expressing one’s authentic self, power, or intuition, leading to issues like self-doubt, silencing one’s voice, and fear of judgment. This inherited trauma can also contribute to the competitiveness among women and a fear of being “too much”.

    So how do we heal the witch wound as women?
    Recognize the source: Your fear and self doubts are not your own to carry, sister. They are not personal failings, but rather echoes of historical trauma.
    Reclaim your voice: Consciously choose to speak your truth and express your beliefs, even when it’s difficult.
    Embrace your power: Allow yourself to be seen and to trust your own inner wisdom and intuition.
    Break the cycle: Heal the wound within yourself to avoid passing the same fears and insecurities on to future generations.

    And as for healing the polar expression of this as a man? Ask yourself why do men feel entitled to control women?
    Why do you feel your actions are justified just because she doesn’t want to be with you anymore?
    Ask yourself if your mother or sister would deserve to date a man just like you?
    Ponder why are you so threatened by a strong feminine archetype?
    Look at how you can heal your past trauma so that you don’t project it onto the women around you.
    Afterall, it’s always been the men wielding the torches.

    All over the world women are burned, maimed and murdered while society looks the other way.
    Women are second class citizens and more at risk of violence from their own partners or admirerers than from complete strangers.

    So perhaps I am lucky to be alive, perhaps I wouldn’t have recieved these threats if I had learned to play small, but that is not the life I wish to live.
    And if being threatened by burning is the price I have to pay for my sovereignty, then why bother, boys?
    I set myself on fire most weekends anyway.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • Why The Sensual Arts Are Good For Women.

    WHY THE SENSUAL ARTS ARE GOOD FOR WOMEN

    Why do I teach pole, burlesque, the sensual arts?
    I don’t usually post pole dance on my life coaching page, but here is why;

    It makes you strong, oh yes.
    But more importantly it creates a sisterhood. A safe space of non-judgement amongst women, which can be truly rare.
    A space of non-judgement towards yourself, even more rare.

    That pole can be the most beautiful partner. One who is always there to dance with you. Holding you up, teaching you to appreciate your curves.
    Because pole dance or burlesque is not about men. We aren’t waiting for men to define beauty, we are defining it together, for ourselves.

    It’s about women reclaiming their bodies, realising their fat rolls or stretch marks are testament to a unique life in perpetual motion, and part of the whole woman. Still sexy. Still beautiful. The story behind a life well lived. The story behind grief, despair, triumph, reclamation. Sovereignty.

    You don’t have to be 20 and slim to love your body (but if you’re there I hope you do).
    You just need to let yourself feel the motion of your hips, lose yourself in the swing of the music, close your eyes and appreciate the jiggle. Say yes to yourself, to your body, to your sensuality.

    Dancing in ecstacy has no age limit, no waist size, It’s an invitation to let yourself go. To look inwards and feel your womb, feel your power, feel your vulnerability. Feel it all.
    .
    The shift you need isn’t about toning your body.
    It’s about learning how to express ecstasy and love in the body that you showed up in today. The body that carried your children or survived your last relationship disaster. Her. She.

    It’s about choosing you, seeing you, embracing the hot mess and finding beauty in the chaos of your imperfect perfection. It’s about embracing you.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • Are You Pouting Or People Pleasing?

    Image by Emil Wessels, Model Candice Storm

    ARE YOU POUTING OR PEOPLE PLEASING?

    The first step towards self confidence is not being afraid to be ugly or disliked. Nobody is perfect, so stop trying to be. Focus on your strengths, not your perceived imperfections, and watch your life bloom. Water your own garden and stop weeding for others.
    Once you get over the fear of being seen as ugly or unpopular and stop equating beauty with other good things in life (friends, love, happiness) it’s a lot easier to love yourself unconditionally.

    Beauty is an inside job, and our exterior should amplify these qualities. You do not have to be pretty to receive love. You do not have to swallow your words or your pride to be accepted. You will never be too much in the right company. So take a course, book a holiday, travel solo, invest in yourself. Don’t worry so much about your itty bitty titties or those wrinkles gathering around your eyes.

    Because guess what ? Your looks will fade, sis, it’s inevitable. Botox at 40 might be beautiful, but it still looks like Botox at 40. And those partners who only saw your beauty as skin deep will fade away as your body begins to age. Those people you worked so hard to people please? Gone as soon as you put your foot down and show the authentic you. So learn to see those smile lines as the result of a life well lived. Those frown lines as the proof of wisdom gained through experience.

    Your job is not to sit around taking shit and being easy on the eye.
    Your job is to do exactly what fills your heart and soul with happiness, and look however you want whilst doing it.

    I once got told I look ugly when I cry. Imagine being expected to be visually pleasing while your heart is breaking? I guess I missed that class in school…you know, the one where they take all the girls aside and teach them to sob prettily into a handkerchief? So that guy had to go!
    My advice is this:

    Don’t hide how you feel to make other people more comfortable.

    Wear that dress

    Say the thing that’s been on your mind

    Be wild

    Be unconventional

    Be unapologetic about the passions that course through your veins

    Cultivate boundaries like a motherf*cker.

    You only get this one shot to live this life.
    So live it to the full.
    Live it with authenticity.
    Find your soul’s tribe and to hell with the rest.
    Carpe Diem bitches.