WHAT DOES GASLIGHTING ACTUALLY MEAN?

So many people are still confused about what gaslighting means, and I know it’s a weird term!

I came across this great explanation yesterday and thought I would share some of it, together with my own thoughts.

What is gaslighting, really?
It’s when someone manipulates you into doubting your reality.
It’s when they convince you that your pain is your fault.
That what they did doesn’t matter.
That your reaction is the real issue.

So somebody will hurt you, push your buttons, torture you and then call you crazy when you react to this treatment. Denying their responsibility for what they said or did to you.

It’s the proverbial, they get criss with you because you are criss with them, while completely bypassing the reason why you are criss with them. Mature, right?

It can happen in the workplace, in your relationship, in therapy.

They will be rude to you and then tell you that you’re too sensitive.
You should smile through the verbal abuse.
You should “not let it affect you.”
They will shift the focus away from how they act, onto your reaction. It’s not their behaviour that’s the problem, it’s your trauma that was triggered But not by their behaviour, of course!

An abuser or narcissist will tell you every horrible thing they did to you is your fault, that they’re just your mirror. But actually they are just toxic.

As if they just innocently walked in the door and you started throwing the pots and pans around. They will deflect blame onto other things, like having a tough day at work entitles them to treat you badly, and you should just suck it up and be supportive.

So next time somebody gaslights you, please don’t fall for it. Their behaviour has consequences too.
Sometimes it’s them, and not you.

Don’t turn these red flags into a red carpet.

I am a life coach and relationship coach. WhatsApp bookings 0833613255