THE SABOTEUR ARCHETYPE
We all know them, the celebrity who overdosed. The politician with the sex scandal…but this pattern of self sabotage can show up in your friend or partner too.
For many people, success brings up all their fears. Because of low self-worth, self-esteem and not feeling worthy, the pressure of having to maintain their success becomes too hard to bear.
So, they do something ‘dumb’ to bring themselves back to a level that doesn’t put so much pressure on them.
Think of those people living a life most of us dream about, and yet they sabotage their success, in some way, because holding themselves to a high standard can be exhausting.
The saboteur Archetype is characterised by negative mental patterns that undermine your performance and well-being. It’s the voice in your head that fuels self-doubt, fear, and resistance to growth. Its often disguised as helpful, but ultimately leading to self-sabotage, preventing us from taking risks or stepping up.
It’s cooking a romantic dinner and then picking a fight at the table.
It’s your beautiful friend dating unworthy men, or your tendency to procrastinate when a big job is required of you.
This internal sabotage generates a lot of discomfort, in the form of negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, self doubt, frustration and unhappiness.
The internal saboteur will actively work against your progress and success, hindering your ability to reach goals and realise your potential. You will drink too much at an important work occasion, or kiss somebody at a party that you shouldn’t.
For me, it was breast implants. I didn’t feel confident in myself so I thought a pair of toxic tits would fix my mindset. They were a disaster, my body rejected them, I got sick. But I kept redoing the surgery, using up all my leave and extra cash. 7 surgeries in 17 years and still I was adamant I wanted to keep them. They leaked all over my chest, they swelled up, and still I couldn’t feel like ‘me’ without them. Until the surgeon said no, take time to heal, she forced me to redefine who I was without them.
This self defeating behaviour can show up in relationships, in passive aggressive comments or infidelity. Worst of all, it’s an automatic pattern! We think, feel and respond a certain way on auto pilot.
We make fear-based decisions that block our empowerment and success, sabotaging our efforts without our conscious awareness.
So if it’s unconscious, how do we overcome this?
The key is awareness. We need to actively challenge negative thoughts, to rewire how we think about things.
We need to cultivate forgiveness and self-compassion, so we don’t block ourselves from taking calculated risks.
We need to start focusing on our strengths and celebrate our successes
By understanding our self sabotage and working to overcome it, we can unlock our true potential and achieve greater success and well-being.
So next time you find yourself about to do dumb shit to get you out of situations that you don’t feel worthy of, take a breath and change your tactics.
I am Candice Baker, holistic life coach and relationship coach.
You can book a session with me on WhatsApp 0833613255
Candice Baker Life Coach 