Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: Patriarchy

  • Trial By Fire

    Model: Candice Storm, Tog Ken Lovell

    TRIAL BY FIRE

    We’ve all heard about the witch trials, and I often might make a careless comment about being burned at the stake in a previous lifetime. This is because I am a strong and independent woman, a leader in the field of women empowerment, and quite unapologetically myself. And it was women such as this who were villainized, punished and let’s be blunt…murdered by the patriarchy.

    Shocking, isn’t it?

    But fast forward to 2025, and have things really changed? Or have these sentiments just gone underground?

    It has been called the Witch Wound by some, and patriarchy certainly has a lot to make up for. Their legacy has become a sinister part of the unconscious masculine. An operating system that undermines women in a more covert manner, but threatens them all the same.

    So far in this lifetime I have been threatened thrice by fire;


    The first time it was a man who was living on my property and helping with some building work. He went on to steal my welding machine, my friends welding machine, and we later discovered he stole one from his previous employer as well. So naturally, when I couldn’t recover my welder I told him to leave and changed the locks. And he sent a message to us saying that he hopes I do not like my thatch roof, as it is very flammable. And that he had told his friends about me and how they were very angry. Also, he remarked that he loved me and that we could have been so good together. I sent him a copy of the police report and that was the last I heard of him.

    Then there was the unstable boyfriend. I asked him to leave and he threatened to burn my house down. At what point does mental instability become malice? When does insecurity become criminal? When does I didn’t mean it become inexcusable?

    And then there was the the great psychotic break, where he threatened to set me on fire. Flicking the lighter in front of my face while I refused to engage in the madness. Now I am no victim, and enough is enough, so I pulled him off me by his hair and held his face to the floor till he dropped the lighter. But that moment was truly scarring for me. The post traumatic stress felt debilitating at times, but it only made me more determined to be free to be me.

    The witch wound is a concept referring to the collective, intergenerational trauma passed down from the historical persecution of those accused of witchcraft, particularly during the “Burning Times”. It manifests as a deep-seated fear of expressing one’s authentic self, power, or intuition, leading to issues like self-doubt, silencing one’s voice, and fear of judgment. This inherited trauma can also contribute to the competitiveness among women and a fear of being “too much”.

    So how do we heal the witch wound as women?
    Recognize the source: Your fear and self doubts are not your own to carry, sister. They are not personal failings, but rather echoes of historical trauma.
    Reclaim your voice: Consciously choose to speak your truth and express your beliefs, even when it’s difficult.
    Embrace your power: Allow yourself to be seen and to trust your own inner wisdom and intuition.
    Break the cycle: Heal the wound within yourself to avoid passing the same fears and insecurities on to future generations.

    And as for healing the polar expression of this as a man? Ask yourself why do men feel entitled to control women?
    Why do you feel your actions are justified just because she doesn’t want to be with you anymore?
    Ask yourself if your mother or sister would deserve to date a man just like you?
    Ponder why are you so threatened by a strong feminine archetype?
    Look at how you can heal your past trauma so that you don’t project it onto the women around you.
    Afterall, it’s always been the men wielding the torches.

    All over the world women are burned, maimed and murdered while society looks the other way.
    Women are second class citizens and more at risk of violence from their own partners or admirerers than from complete strangers.

    So perhaps I am lucky to be alive, perhaps I wouldn’t have recieved these threats if I had learned to play small, but that is not the life I wish to live.
    And if being threatened by burning is the price I have to pay for my sovereignty, then why bother, boys?
    I set myself on fire most weekends anyway.

    I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • The Modern Day Witch Trials

    THE MODERN DAY WITCH TRIALS

    So we made it through the witch trials, women of power and healing burned at the stake. Naturopaths, herbalists, midwives, all a threat to the patriarchy and all sentenced to death. Women collaborating against women, pointing fingers away from themselves in fear. Too much water in the well, must be a witch. Not enough crop growth, must be a witch. The theme of too little or too much playing out through the centuries. Wise women persecuted by men, wild women persecuted by women. The only path to safety embodied in the mundane. Women learned that there is shelter in mediocrity.

    But has it really changed? Or are the underlying thought patterns of control and fear still there? Women are still being policed, their wings still clipped, their power still stolen from them. And it starts at school. If you were around in the eighties, you would remember the school panty inspection. Oh yes, the panty police was a thing. We had to lift up our skirts to check whether we were wearing the regulation school brookie. Apart from the gross privacy violation, there was this idea that boys could not control themselves, so the girls had to be strictly controlled instead.And this idea persists today.

    Not much has changed in this new century. Enter the year 2015 and girls get picked out in front of the whole class for wearing black bras. Aside from the fact that black actually shows through less than white, she must be some kind of scarlet woman to be wearing such a colour under her clothing. And to discuss the colour of her underwear in front of an entire class of boys, to embarass her and violate her rights in such a public way is inexcusable. Women victimizing girls.

    Women’s bodies have always fallen under the control of others. Owned by the patriarchy and not themselves. Wrinkled old men deciding on women’s rights to this day in first world countries. Persecution by the gusset Gestapo should your stocking be showing. Women not allowed into temples. Women banned from holy places when they are bleeding and considered unclean. It seems even periods are policed. The vilification of the yoni has continued through the centuries, because to acknowledge the opposite would be to acknowledge the power of women.

    As a dance instructor I have recieved so many comments about outfits that show too much, yet every private part is covered. Do a split in a tutu and you are a graceful and gifted ballerina. Do a split on the pole in hot pants and everybody loses their minds. Asking a dancer to cover up is like asking Chad le Clos to swim in baggies, it cannot be done. It shouldn’t be done. It restricts movement in impossible ways, and ruins the aeathetic. Oh how society loves to brand a woman in scarlet, for nothing more than what could be implied in their minds. Because it was what was in your mind that was inciting lust, while everyone else was appreciating her beautiful long legged splits.

    Perform in a magnificent set of fire wings, with fire fans, in an outfit layered white hotpants, white miniskirt, long white lace skirt surrounded by 20 flames. A stunt requiring courage, experience and risk management. But there is always one who will be horrified that the dancers were showing their vaginas to the crowd.
    The one with the x-ray vision, who could see their lady parts through 3 layers of clothing, in the dark. My what a rich and vivid imagination she must have. A vision so sharp that she could not see the fire, not appreciate the show, not zoom out or away from that place between their thighs. I suspect another 3 layers would have made little difference to such a piercing and judgemental gaze.

    So there the dancer is, performing magnificent stunts with her body requiring years of blood /sweat/tears, all her efforts reduced to flashing her imagined genitalia. A total denigration of talent into filth by a tormented psyche. Are your glasses tinted by roses or filth?
    A vagina lurking under every rock ready to pounce.
    A fear, bred into women over the centuries. A threat wielded by the patriarchy to keep the feminine form covered.

    2000 years later and the woman will still be burned at the stake. Acid thrown on her face for rejecting a male suitor. Forced to marry her rapist to restore her honour. Child brides for paedophiles.

    Surely we have more important things to worry about than the implied shape of a woman’s body? Surely in this era women deserve the same freedom as their male counterparts? We may joke about a Speedo, or a mankind, but is it vilified? Nope. Whilst the shadow of a yoni or a breast is shamed in public but praised in private. Bought, sold, stolen. But never to be given for free without shame.

    Perhaps our focus should be on creating a safe space for freedom.
    Freedom of expression.
    Freedom of choice.
    Freedom from policing the bodies of women.

    Women reclaiming their power, their creative force, the sacredness of their inner temple. Their yoni, the spark of life, the sacred feminine within. Women supporting women and men creating safety. Remembering the goddess within, holding ourselves in high regard, and not shrinking into shame. Because our bodies are not shameful, they are worthy of respect and admiration.

    No, the yoni is not the divine feminine, the goddess is, and she lives within each of us. Within our yoni, within our womb, within our hearts, our minds, our souls. And she demands respect.

    Let’s bleed out the poison and grow a community of respect and sovereignty, not fear, together.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255