Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: mental-health

  • The Modern Day Witch Trials

    THE MODERN DAY WITCH TRIALS

    So we made it through the witch trials, women of power and healing burned at the stake. Naturopaths, herbalists, midwives, all a threat to the patriarchy and all sentenced to death. Women collaborating against women, pointing fingers away from themselves in fear. Too much water in the well, must be a witch. Not enough crop growth, must be a witch. The theme of too little or too much playing out through the centuries. Wise women persecuted by men, wild women persecuted by women. The only path to safety embodied in the mundane. Women learned that there is shelter in mediocrity.

    But has it really changed? Or are the underlying thought patterns of control and fear still there? Women are still being policed, their wings still clipped, their power still stolen from them. And it starts at school. If you were around in the eighties, you would remember the school panty inspection. Oh yes, the panty police was a thing. We had to lift up our skirts to check whether we were wearing the regulation school brookie. Apart from the gross privacy violation, there was this idea that boys could not control themselves, so the girls had to be strictly controlled instead.And this idea persists today.

    Not much has changed in this new century. Enter the year 2015 and girls get picked out in front of the whole class for wearing black bras. Aside from the fact that black actually shows through less than white, she must be some kind of scarlet woman to be wearing such a colour under her clothing. And to discuss the colour of her underwear in front of an entire class of boys, to embarass her and violate her rights in such a public way is inexcusable. Women victimizing girls.

    Women’s bodies have always fallen under the control of others. Owned by the patriarchy and not themselves. Wrinkled old men deciding on women’s rights to this day in first world countries. Persecution by the gusset Gestapo should your stocking be showing. Women not allowed into temples. Women banned from holy places when they are bleeding and considered unclean. It seems even periods are policed. The vilification of the yoni has continued through the centuries, because to acknowledge the opposite would be to acknowledge the power of women.

    As a dance instructor I have recieved so many comments about outfits that show too much, yet every private part is covered. Do a split in a tutu and you are a graceful and gifted ballerina. Do a split on the pole in hot pants and everybody loses their minds. Asking a dancer to cover up is like asking Chad le Clos to swim in baggies, it cannot be done. It shouldn’t be done. It restricts movement in impossible ways, and ruins the aeathetic. Oh how society loves to brand a woman in scarlet, for nothing more than what could be implied in their minds. Because it was what was in your mind that was inciting lust, while everyone else was appreciating her beautiful long legged splits.

    Perform in a magnificent set of fire wings, with fire fans, in an outfit layered white hotpants, white miniskirt, long white lace skirt surrounded by 20 flames. A stunt requiring courage, experience and risk management. But there is always one who will be horrified that the dancers were showing their vaginas to the crowd.
    The one with the x-ray vision, who could see their lady parts through 3 layers of clothing, in the dark. My what a rich and vivid imagination she must have. A vision so sharp that she could not see the fire, not appreciate the show, not zoom out or away from that place between their thighs. I suspect another 3 layers would have made little difference to such a piercing and judgemental gaze.

    So there the dancer is, performing magnificent stunts with her body requiring years of blood /sweat/tears, all her efforts reduced to flashing her imagined genitalia. A total denigration of talent into filth by a tormented psyche. Are your glasses tinted by roses or filth?
    A vagina lurking under every rock ready to pounce.
    A fear, bred into women over the centuries. A threat wielded by the patriarchy to keep the feminine form covered.

    2000 years later and the woman will still be burned at the stake. Acid thrown on her face for rejecting a male suitor. Forced to marry her rapist to restore her honour. Child brides for paedophiles.

    Surely we have more important things to worry about than the implied shape of a woman’s body? Surely in this era women deserve the same freedom as their male counterparts? We may joke about a Speedo, or a mankind, but is it vilified? Nope. Whilst the shadow of a yoni or a breast is shamed in public but praised in private. Bought, sold, stolen. But never to be given for free without shame.

    Perhaps our focus should be on creating a safe space for freedom.
    Freedom of expression.
    Freedom of choice.
    Freedom from policing the bodies of women.

    Women reclaiming their power, their creative force, the sacredness of their inner temple. Their yoni, the spark of life, the sacred feminine within. Women supporting women and men creating safety. Remembering the goddess within, holding ourselves in high regard, and not shrinking into shame. Because our bodies are not shameful, they are worthy of respect and admiration.

    No, the yoni is not the divine feminine, the goddess is, and she lives within each of us. Within our yoni, within our womb, within our hearts, our minds, our souls. And she demands respect.

    Let’s bleed out the poison and grow a community of respect and sovereignty, not fear, together.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
    T/DR Candice Baker
    00013133614
    You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • Age Is Just A Number, Babe!

    AGE IS JUST A NUMBER, BABE!

    I read a post this morning about ageing, and all the traditional ideas women have swallowed for years about it.

    Historically, women are made to feel irrelevant as they age. Men get ‘sexy’. They get gray hair, they’re the silver foxes. We’re just…OLD. The crones, our time is up. We’re done with our baby making years, our primary purpose for being. And when we’re done with that at 40, there’s nothing left for us.

    But the women I know are only just starting to live! We’re reclaiming this as our enchantress phase, and connecting to our wild woman. Were finally free from rearing our families and getting our groove back. Women don’t want to talk about being a midlifer because that means there’s no place for them. They’re not wanted. So, it’s about us women reclaiming that narrative, and changing the way we’re seen throughout the entirety of our life. It was never about our looks, it was only made to seem that way. Whatever your age, claim your magic and grow into your path.
    It is a privilege to age, to have wisdom and experience makes us valuable. So be an icon for younger women.

    Women are aging beautifully because they are taking care of themselves. I know many older women who are in their prime and styling life. Many men on the other hand are not! Fat bellies, bald heads and “old mentality.” They are quick to critisize but slow to look at themselves in the mirror. Older women are embracing their sexuality, free from the constraints of fertility. Sometimes, it’s the older men who are no longer sexually appealing. But no one ever noticed, because men are not judged by their looks to the same extent. They have been chasing around younger women to tap into our fountain of youth. But today’s women… we are noticing and some are looking for younger companions too. The tables have been reversing.

    Things are no longer what they were, and women are rising. So take the focus off how you look and poor your female energies into creating something beautiful. Pick a project today, it could be something within yourself, or to uplift something outside of yourself. You have the power of creation at your fingertips and it’s time to birth something new.

    My name is Candice Baker-The Mermaid Life Coach
    I am a life coach and relationship coach, a traditional doctor and I can support you holistically on your journey.
    WhatsApp inquires 0833613255

  • Never Show Your Boobs & Your Brain At The Same Time!

    NEVER SHOW A MAN YOUR BOOBS & YOUR BRAIN AT THE SAME TIME!

    Unless you want him to bust out in a sweat, springs and cogs bursting out of his ears, that is! Society has created a lot of broken toys. But this isn’t just about men.
    I have a lot of experience in this area, life-long experience, and it’s been showing up a lot in the reactions I get to my writing.
    It’s called cognitive dissonance, and it makes people feel quite uncomfortable.
    Let me explain:
    Cognitive dissonance is when you expect to feel one way about something, but find yourself feeling something different.
    This is partly because we use stereotypes to take mental shortcuts, it’s easier than assessing each person or situation from scratch.

    So when you meet a pretty blonde, you might be really amazed that she loves to mountain climb (if you bothered to ask).
    Or when you meet a tattooed biker, it might confuse you that he loves to cook.
    Models? Naturally stupid of course!
    But here’s the thing, that woman on your Facebook in her tiny bikini on the pole might actually be a doctor, just enjoying the freedom and body positivity of pole fitness. (While your mind went straight to stripper)

    So when we meet people we tend to put them in a box, especially women. We make a lot of assumptions based on their clothing, their face, their body or how they show up in our social media feed. And we expect them to behave according to the labels we assigned to them.

    But here’s the thing…Just because she is in touch with her body or her sensuality, does not mean she is issuing invitations. And this is where the confusion, or cognitive dissonance can get ugly. The slut won’t chat to you in her DMs, so you send her a rude message after your first sleazy attempts fail. (Hey, WUD?….Hey, nice pussy…. Honey I think I love you…FU bitch, nobody wants you anyway). Except maybe she isn’t what you perceived her to be, and you’re the problem? I have lived some of these.
    Hell, I have put out an ad for yoga instructor training and gotten a dick pic in reply to the advert, even where there was no sexy photo!

    So why does this keep happening?
    You get 3 types of people, in my experience.

    1. Those who embrace the surprising truth. They think it’s cool that you can have a degree and be a model.
    2. Those who will ignore anything that doesn’t fit their framework. (The one they put you in without letting you know about it.) These people will scroll past faster than you can spin the wheel of fortune.
    3. And then lastly you get those who will have a reaction. They might get curious, and pick up the phone or send you a message wanting to know more about what you do. And when this happens everybody learns something. You learn how you are perceived by others, they will need to get that lecture off their chest. And then if you’re not too offended to carry on with the conversation they will learn how their judgements were out of place.*

    *But then there’s the other side of that coin, the knee jerk reaction. Sometimes it seems like nothing enrages a man more than a sexy photo paired with a well written article about relationships or women’s wellness. Or a woman who loves that you are a mermaid but is completely shocked when you grow legs and climb a pole (I didn’t sign up for this. I’m unfollowing you.) The cognitive dissonance can be immense and extremely upsetting for some people. Men, particularly the ones who ‘know’ what roles a woman should play in society, will start to lash out if you don’t conform to certain roles. Madonna, maiden, mother, whore, crone…you know the stereotypes I’m speaking of.
    To step out of these boundaries placed on women by the patriarchy can be anathema to these guys.
    The burlesque dancer with a PhD.
    The model with the import business.
    The pretty blonde with her own mansion on the hill.
    Self-made women, outspoken women, independent women who somehow are expected to look and act like men because of their many talents and skills.
    Or quite simply the older woman who is still sexy and vibrant instead of knowing her place as expired milk, because ageing is a sin on social media. (I have received this particular insult, somebody didn’t get enough breast feeding I suspect).

    We all know we cannot please everyone, and some of us will still try. But ladies, you are more than your boob job! Your body does not define you. Neither does your face, it’s merely a trick of nature. So wear the outfit, even if it does raise eyebrows. Dye your hair, take the course, book the solo plane ticket. Because only you get to decide how you are going to live your life. Don’t try to live it for other people, most are unsatisfiable. Express yourself and be authentically you, because the world needs to hear your message. And other women need to see women living their lives unapologetically and free.
    Become the wild woman that you were intended to be, and your tribe will find you.

    This is your solemn duty to the evolution of womankind. And as for your dude, find one who supports this personal growth, not one who keeps you in that damn box. Find friends who cheer for you, support you and show up for you. There is a reason that woman’s gatherings have been banned throughout the centuries, and it is this. These women will be your tribe, and together you will rise.

    I am a traditional doctor, life coach & wellness coach.
    You can book an appointment on WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Sleeping With The Enemy

    SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

    Most of us have heard about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and we link it to war veterans and victims of physical violence. But the truth is that this type of trauma response is not just linked to war, you could be experiencing trauma in your own home that could be causing a lesser known stress disorder. It’s called CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and differs from PTSD primarily in its cause.
    CPTSD stems from prolonged, repeated trauma like long-term abuse, whereas PTSD typically follows a single or limited, acute traumatic event like a car crash.
    So that recurring psychosis your boyfriend gets from smoking weed, or the angry outbursts your dad gets from too much alcohol can affect you in a similar way.
    Clinically, CPTSD includes all PTSD symptoms plus additional clusters related to emotion regulation, self-perception, and interpersonal relationships.
    What this means is that not only will you experience symptoms of PTSD, you will have other emotions to deal with too.
    With PTSD you might experience flashbacks, intrusive thoughts or nightmares, which can be extremely disturbing. You will try to avoid reminders of the trauma you experienced, like driving, or avoid the feelings it brings up, even avoid thinking about it entirely.
    It can leave you feeling edgy and irritable a lot of the time, and your nervous system will be constantly on high alert for recurring danger. You become the world’s worst passenger.

    With CPTSD, you might experience all of these things, plus 3 more areas of difficulty.
    When trauma is long term or inescaple, from childhood abuse or domestic violence, you will be left struggling to regulate your nervous system. You will be living in fight or flight mode.
    Your emotions will be intense, and you might feel as if you are walking on egg shells as soon as the front door opens at night.
    Over time, long term abuse will alter the way you see yourself, and could leave you with a negative self image.
    You might embody feelings of worthlessness and shame, taking on the blame yourself, or feeling embarassed about what is happening to you.

    In the context of your outside relationships, you might struggle to trust and connect to people, which will affect your ability to maintain stable relationships.The very thing that you need to help you heal.

    So if your home life or love life is leaving you feeling broken or damaged, it’s time to make a change. It might not be possible to make a clean break from the one who is traumatizing you, but the first step is to recognise that you are worthy of so much more than this. Try some meditation or positive visualisations, there are many free apps you can use. Begin practicing self love, start with little rituals like picking a flower for yourself, or taking a long bath with bubbles. Nurture your inner child.

    Start taking steps to regulate your nervous system, like breathwork and yoga. Take some walks, spend time in nature bare foot, and find somebody to talk to. This could be a friend, teacher or counselor. There are free services available if you need them.

    And slowly make your exit plans, save some money, get employed, start a new hobby and improve your support system. Starting over might seem scary, but it’s your chance to build something better this time.

    So make your plans, breathe in your courage and exhale knowing you’ve got this. Happiness is an inside job, so start there and watch yourself bloom and outgrow your current situation.
    You deserve more.
    You are worthy.
    You are enough.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. You can book a session with me on WhatsApp
    +0027833613255

  • Does This Image Trigger You?

    DOES THIS IMAGE TRIGGER YOU?

    Ladies, my posts are for YOU. I spend a good amount of time deleting any unwanted male energy from my profile.
    So why the sexy images? If you are triggered by these, let me tell you my story.

    I was an awkward child, shy and without many friends. If my one and only friend skipped primary school, I would sit alone at break and read my book. I still love reading today, and it has made my journey as an author so much easier too

    When I got to high school, I decided a re-brand was in order. I forced myself to come out of my shell, I made as many friends as I could, and I learned how to speak to boys.
    And you know what happened? The boys liked me too much, and the girls became competitive, bitchy, insecure (let’s face it). Rumours, accusations, even threats of physical violence. Jeez I hated high school! Women are taught at a young age to hate on other women, to slut shame other women, simply because some dude thinks they are pretty or interesting.

    I started modelling at 16, mostly to improve my self esteem. My parents did not understand what I was trying to do, “fake it till you make it”, ya know what I mean? So they weren’t very supportive and there was a lot of criticism. My mother would continually tell me that beauty comes from inside. And she was right, of course, in her own way. At the end of the day we need to focus on our inner selves as well. Find a balance, and the path to self appreciation.

    But here’s the thing, I got the psychology degree, the 2 kids, the divorce because I didn’t play small. I got the life coaching diploma, the pole dancing studio, the yoga qualifications.
    As women we need to come back to wholeness. To self love. To balance.
    Integrating the yin and the yang. Pole dance and burlesque really helped me with self love and appreciation. The kind you can’t get from the outside. From your bored husband or your wandering boyfriend.
    Yes, beauty is on the inside, and learning self love is the greatest journey you will ever embark on.
    But woman have been taught to suppress their sensuality, their goddess energy. To bow under the judgement of others and douse their inner fire.

    Even as an adult, there is pressure to play it down. But being a safe woman does not mean being a small woman. Be out there, by all means, just don’t take someone else’s husband along for the ride!
    And ladies, we are here to support each other and Iift each other up. There should not be competition between strong, or wild women. This woman does not need your man. And let’s be real here for a second. You cannot steal a man who is not willing to be stolen, unless you brought your cable ties and duct tape.

    Women are not just maidens, mothers, whores, crones. We are ALL of these things. And to be a highly functioning woman, a fully integrated embodiment of the divine feminine, we need to embrace all of these aspects of ourselves. Honour our bodies and our needs in a relationship that sees us in all our aspects, or in our sovereign single state.

    So if my posts are provoking an uncomfortable reaction in you, perhaps we could chat about how to integrate these more sensual aspects into your psyche. How to embrace all that you can be, and stop playing small. You are not just somebody’s girlfriend, somebody mother. You are not a washed up ok crone. You are an enchantress, a goddess full of life and love. Do not apologise for your roar, lioness.

    I am a life coach and relationship coach. You can book a session on WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Welcome To The Jungle

    WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

    You know what’s really sexy? A man who is in touch with his emotions.
    One who can talk about them and hold space for yours.
    A man who can listen to your feedback without feeling criticised.
    A man who can listen and respond without lashing out.
    This doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a high value trophy.

    Do you want to know 3 little words that will make her nervous system relax when she comes to you with a problem? 3 words that will turn her into a lamb instead of a snarling She Wolf?
    “Babe, I hear you”.

    Or when she asks you for a change?
    “Babe, I got this”.

    So how do achieve this state in the middle of world war 3 playing out in your kitchen?

    Firstly, JUST… STOP… TALKING.
    Try to listen.
    Even better, do this before she starts losing her mind and shrieking at you. Because let’s face it, she probably didn’t start out shouting at the top of her lungs.
    She came to you with an issue and you deflected it, gasliighted her, got defensive or escalated her tone. You reacted to her reaction to YOUR behaviour. Because no matter what you said or did, she isn’t allowed to show irritation?

    Dude, this war zone could have been prevented with a few emotionally intelligent skills, but here we are. (Again).

    So now you’ve skipped the mediation phase and went straight to DEFCON 1.
    You need crisis management.
    You need to stop what you are doing and put away the big guns. There are no sticks and stones here, only words. (Why is it that most men will rather fight a lion than deal with emotions?)
    This might go against your every instinct, but do not react, or lash out. Do not respond, don’t even fucking blink. Just shut it and listen. It’s not that hard, you got this big boy!
    Then, when she has had her say, tell her that you heard her. Say it.
    “Ok, I hear you”.
    If she does not die of shock on the spot, she will exhale.
    Both of you need to breathe, big slow exhales. Take a few deep breaths. You’ll both need a moment to calm down.

    Now is your time to respond. Not yet with solutions. With confirmation.
    ‘It sounds like you are upset because…’
    ‘I can hear that … is really bothering you’
    ‘Im sorry that … upset you’
    Show her that you understand what she has expressed to you. Gain clarity, mirror her words.
    And if it’s you that is the problem, you’re the lucky bastard who can actually solve this. So that’s a good thing.

    “Babe, I’m going to do better”.
    “Honey, I’m so sorry”.
    “Sweetheart, I got this”.
    No whining, no “I’m trying”, no tantrums.
    Speak in absolutes,
    Take responsibility for your crap, and assure her you have understood the problem. That you have it under control.

    And then most importantly, DO THE THING. There is no room for your good intentions here. Everyone has good intentions. Even psychopaths might start the day without plotting to eat your brains with a nice Chianti.
    There is room for action and problem solving here, and this is where your strength lies. So be reliable, keep your word. Stick to your promises. Formulate an action plan to avoid future pit falls. You’re an intelligent guy, so stop falling into the same trap.

    Get that right, and her nervous system stops the steeple chase and begins to relax. She will stop running away from you, she will stop attacking you. She will begin to feel safe. Fight or flight mode disengaged.

    Words and emotions are not your enemy. Avoidance is.
    Don’t sweep things under the rug, and avoid difficult conversations. Don’t lash out and react with anger everytime she wants to discuss something with you.
    Take a deep breath and hear her out.
    Check in with each other regularly. Are we reaching our goals, are we doing better at XYZ?
    Accept feedback.

    This is how a conscious relationship grows, and you avoid making the same mistakes. .
    This is how you move forward instead of losing your way and walking in circles. Avoid the downward spiral and inevitable decline.
    It’s time to pack away your safari suit and step out of the jungle.

    This is your relationship, not a fucking bear hunt.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. You can book a session with me on WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Enter The Enchantress

    ENTER THE ENCHANTRESS

    I think one of the best things about getting older is learning to stand my ground. People have often underestimated me in the past, made assumptions about my intelligence or my calm nature.

    I have been looked down on as a silly blonde, I have been bullied and often treated with less respect than I deserve. Boundaries trampled and being too nice to say anything about it.

    And then something began to change on the inside as I got older…although I still love to please people, make a good impression and get along…I won’t do it at my own personal expense. I think it boils down to finding confidence in my courage, and learning to speak my mind when I feel that I am being bulldozed. It’s about knowing my worth in business and in my personal life. Connecting to my inner fire and caring less about what people think.

    Especially people who do not matter or who don’t seem to mind the way they behave towards me. And guess what? Nobody died! In fact people respected me more, or are at least a bit more careful about how they treat me or what they say to me.

    So set those boundaries, stand up for yourself and do not entertain toxic people or bullies. They will respect you more for it, or remove themselves from your space.

    I can help you stand in your power too. I offer Life coaching and relationship coaching with a special interest in relationships and women empowerment..Wellness coaching too. Appointments: WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Social Media Mania

    SOCIAL MEDIA MANIA

    So my partner and I have had a few ‘discussions’ about this….some calmer than others!
    Some people are not into social media, which can be a problem if one partner is.
    Your partner might not understand why you are on your phone so much, but it’s not necessarily doom scrolling.
    Sometimes it’s marketing, or content creation. Or selecting a playlist or googling an article.
    But if your partner has a different kind of job, one that ends at 5pm, or one where they are not internet based, they might not understand what you are doing on there all the time!
    It doesn’t mean you are addicted to your phone, as many things can be operated from there.
    So it’s important to set boundaries with social media, for example no phones after dinner. Your clients can wait till office hours, it’s a healthy boundary to set.
    Or offer a quick explanation, for example, I’m checking my bank balance so I can recharge the prepaid meter. This should minimise the annoyance your partner might feel about your screen time, imagining you are scrolling rather than spending time with them.

    Also, social media breeds comparison, it sets impossible standards that are not real.
    For example, I get embarassed when I do a birthday post or a gratitude post for my partner when he doesn’t respond. What will people think, is this a one sided relationship?
    But the truth is he is not on social media much, so I have to tell him to go and look at what I wrote.
    And if he wants to show me his appreciation he will make me something with his hands, or show up with a chocolate.

    Social media is the equivalent of public displays of affection, which we all crave, but that doesn’t make it real, it can be quite the opposite in fact!
    You see people gushing over their partner and separated the next day. Its performance and not reality.

    So set some rules of engagement, some healthy boundaries, and communicate more. It will go a long way in your relationship.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. You can book a session with me on WhatsApp 0833613255

  • The Conscious Relationship

    THE CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP

    There has been a lot of talk about conscious relationships, and one of the key ingredients is the ability to talk about our feelings.
    And then how to respond without defensiveness.

    My partner of 6 years once told me he has never discussed his feelings before in a relationship. Never spoken about sex, or any of the other things that come up for us.
    He has had 3 long relationships, yet never felt able or challenged to share his feelings. And the sad part is this is true for many men, taught to suppress their feelings.

    There are 3 phases in a relationship, and I would like to expand on this concept.

    1. The audition phase.
      This is where you show up as your best (and most unrealistic) self. A charade that hooks your partner, but is unsustainable. Or rather disintegrates into complacency.
    2. The shadow boxing stage.
      This is where the love hormones begin to fade and the gremlins come out. Most couples never make it out of this phase, trading up or trading in for another partner. And so the cycle begins again.
    3. The co-creation phase.
      This is where you learn to heal and respond to each other’s shadows in a constructive way, to build something meaningful that goes beyond the oxytocin, the sex, the anger and resentment. This is where you build a future, co-create a life that you both desire, and create a safe space for each other to express your emotions and design a relationship that elevates both partners to even more growth.
      Both of these things are not easy to do at first, but will help you grow through the icky phase into a better version of you as a couple.

    It may be uncomfortable, it may be hard, but with the right partner it is worth it. So, are you addicted to oxytocin, jumping ship when things get rough…forever chasing that love hormone?
    Or are you in it for the full rollercoaster ride, and maybe, just maybe, with the right person….you will co-create something beautiful.

    WhatsApp bookings for Relationship coaching and life coaching
    0833613255

  • The Cycle Of Death & Rebirth

    Image by XOXO Photography

    THE CYCLE OF REBIRTH

    Sometimes rebirth can feel like a death to the ones left behind, yet this cycle is essential for growth, change and happiness.

    Yesterday my daughter and new son in law boarded a plane for Australia.
    We have shared our lives and our home for 22 years. We have built such a beautiful life together, and now a new cycle is beginning. What a brave and wonderful adventure to embark on.

    And what a loss for those of us who are left behind.
    Having a child is like feeling your heart beating outside your body. Living, loving, hurting with no way to keep it safe.

    I knew this day would come, and worked tirelessly for a year to make it happen for you.
    Citizenship
    Passports
    Driving lessons
    Dentists
    Doctors
    Wedding plans
    Packing a life into 3 suitcases.

    Perhaps the definition of love is to do things for somebody even though the outcome will hurt you.
    Learning to surrender to something you cannot control or change.
    What an experience this life is turning out to be.

    The highs
    The lows
    The uncertainty

    And yet the cycle goes on.
    Death, rebirth, grief, denial, bargaining, acceptance still loading.

    Tam and Lance, I know in my heart you will create a beautiful new life in Australia, full of love, new experiences and adventure. Go and share your magic with the world ✨

    I love you both and we will see each other again. This is going to be a lot to get used to, for all of us.
    Bon voyage ❤️