TRIAL BY FIRE
We’ve all heard about the witch trials, and I often might make a careless comment about being burned at the stake in a previous lifetime. This is because I am a strong and independent woman, a leader in the field of women empowerment, and quite unapologetically myself. And it was women such as this who were villainized, punished and let’s be blunt…murdered by the patriarchy.
Shocking, isn’t it?
But fast forward to 2025, and have things really changed? Or have these sentiments just gone underground?
It has been called the Witch Wound by some, and patriarchy certainly has a lot to make up for. Their legacy has become a sinister part of the unconscious masculine. An operating system that undermines women in a more covert manner, but threatens them all the same.
So far in this lifetime I have been threatened thrice by fire;
The first time it was a man who was living on my property and helping with some building work. He went on to steal my welding machine, my friends welding machine, and we later discovered he stole one from his previous employer as well. So naturally, when I couldn’t recover my welder I told him to leave and changed the locks. And he sent a message to us saying that he hopes I do not like my thatch roof, as it is very flammable. And that he had told his friends about me and how they were very angry. Also, he remarked that he loved me and that we could have been so good together. I sent him a copy of the police report and that was the last I heard of him.
Then there was the unstable boyfriend. I asked him to leave and he threatened to burn my house down. At what point does mental instability become malice? When does insecurity become criminal? When does I didn’t mean it become inexcusable?
And then there was the the great psychotic break, where he threatened to set me on fire. Flicking the lighter in front of my face while I refused to engage in the madness. Now I am no victim, and enough is enough, so I pulled him off me by his hair and held his face to the floor till he dropped the lighter. But that moment was truly scarring for me. The post traumatic stress felt debilitating at times, but it only made me more determined to be free to be me.
The witch wound is a concept referring to the collective, intergenerational trauma passed down from the historical persecution of those accused of witchcraft, particularly during the “Burning Times”. It manifests as a deep-seated fear of expressing one’s authentic self, power, or intuition, leading to issues like self-doubt, silencing one’s voice, and fear of judgment. This inherited trauma can also contribute to the competitiveness among women and a fear of being “too much”.
So how do we heal the witch wound as women?
Recognize the source: Your fear and self doubts are not your own to carry, sister. They are not personal failings, but rather echoes of historical trauma.
Reclaim your voice: Consciously choose to speak your truth and express your beliefs, even when it’s difficult.
Embrace your power: Allow yourself to be seen and to trust your own inner wisdom and intuition.
Break the cycle: Heal the wound within yourself to avoid passing the same fears and insecurities on to future generations.
And as for healing the polar expression of this as a man? Ask yourself why do men feel entitled to control women?
Why do you feel your actions are justified just because she doesn’t want to be with you anymore?
Ask yourself if your mother or sister would deserve to date a man just like you?
Ponder why are you so threatened by a strong feminine archetype?
Look at how you can heal your past trauma so that you don’t project it onto the women around you.
Afterall, it’s always been the men wielding the torches.
All over the world women are burned, maimed and murdered while society looks the other way.
Women are second class citizens and more at risk of violence from their own partners or admirerers than from complete strangers.
So perhaps I am lucky to be alive, perhaps I wouldn’t have recieved these threats if I had learned to play small, but that is not the life I wish to live.
And if being threatened by burning is the price I have to pay for my sovereignty, then why bother, boys?
I set myself on fire most weekends anyway.
I am a holistic life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment.
T/DR Candice Baker
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Candice Baker Life Coach 