THE EMBODIED MASCULINE
There is a lot of talk about the divine feminine and masculine. Or the embodied feminine and masculine. Speaking from a woman’s perspective, the masculine in a love relationship needs to embody structure. He needs to show groundedness, be consistent and provide stability. From the evolutionary perspective, men are wired to serve and protect. Just take a look at the meat suit, compared to that of a woman’s. Huge hands, thick arms and long legs. Wide shoulders and Lats.
In return, a woman shares her softness with her man, her nurturing and loving nature and body. She becomes relaxed and opens like a flower. She is designed for providing solace, to allow him to pour his devotion into her, and share her wide hips, her round breasts and loving arms.
In today’s society, this can become very confusing. Women are being taught to be providers in their own right, and men are hesitant to open doors or be chivalrous in case of backlash. Women are liberated and independent, but that does not mean she wants to stand alone.
The problem is, if he is passive or inconsistent, a
woman’s nervous system will be activated. She needs clarity and consistency to feel secure. So a man who feels unable to assert himself in a relationship with a financially empowered woman might feel redundant. Or disconnected from an emotionally wise woman if he cannot meet her with his genuine self expression.
And the woman might feel neglected, and retreat into the safety of emotional shutdown if her partner cannot rise to her emotional needs.
While a man who feels empowered to make her his priority will help her feel safe and supported. Yes, she can do all the things for herself, but she shouldn’t have to if she is in a conscious partnership.
If her man does not embody the traits of safety, consistency and reliability, she goes into survival mode. This is because women experience inconsistency as a form of abandonment. If she cannot rely on a partner for this stability, she will withdraw and create her own safe environment. Or she might feel needy, get critical, even angry. Reaching out will sound like nagging or bossiness to an avoidant male. She might feel insecure or attacked or even try to manipulate the situation to achieve a consistent outcome in an effort to regain a sense of control over her environment. Because if he cannot provide leadership, she will step up and take the reigns out of necessity.
Whichever happens, without this feeling of safety, predictability and security, the feminine will not be able to be soft or surrendered. She will not relax, let her guard down or flourish in her natural nurturing state.
Survival mode will make her reactive, tough as nails and embody her masculine. The passive male will recieve the fierce and defensive warrior instead of the sensual goddess energy that he craves.
So the balance lies in consistency, reliability and safety from him so that she can relax and allow herself to bloom. Meet her half way and in return she will nurture and support her partner with her body and mind. She will exhale.
It is the balance of complimentary roles that is needed, afterall…who needs 2 alpha males in a relationship?
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I am a life coach and relationship coach. Reach out to book a session on WhatsApp 0833613255
Candice Baker Life Coach 