Candice Baker Life Coach

Tag: Boundaries

  • Enter The Enchantress

    ENTER THE ENCHANTRESS

    I think one of the best things about getting older is learning to stand my ground. People have often underestimated me in the past, made assumptions about my intelligence or my calm nature.

    I have been looked down on as a silly blonde, I have been bullied and often treated with less respect than I deserve. Boundaries trampled and being too nice to say anything about it.

    And then something began to change on the inside as I got older…although I still love to please people, make a good impression and get along…I won’t do it at my own personal expense. I think it boils down to finding confidence in my courage, and learning to speak my mind when I feel that I am being bulldozed. It’s about knowing my worth in business and in my personal life. Connecting to my inner fire and caring less about what people think.

    Especially people who do not matter or who don’t seem to mind the way they behave towards me. And guess what? Nobody died! In fact people respected me more, or are at least a bit more careful about how they treat me or what they say to me.

    So set those boundaries, stand up for yourself and do not entertain toxic people or bullies. They will respect you more for it, or remove themselves from your space.

    I can help you stand in your power too. I offer Life coaching and relationship coaching with a special interest in relationships and women empowerment..Wellness coaching too. Appointments: WhatsApp 0833613255

  • Social Media Mania

    SOCIAL MEDIA MANIA

    So my partner and I have had a few ‘discussions’ about this….some calmer than others!
    Some people are not into social media, which can be a problem if one partner is.
    Your partner might not understand why you are on your phone so much, but it’s not necessarily doom scrolling.
    Sometimes it’s marketing, or content creation. Or selecting a playlist or googling an article.
    But if your partner has a different kind of job, one that ends at 5pm, or one where they are not internet based, they might not understand what you are doing on there all the time!
    It doesn’t mean you are addicted to your phone, as many things can be operated from there.
    So it’s important to set boundaries with social media, for example no phones after dinner. Your clients can wait till office hours, it’s a healthy boundary to set.
    Or offer a quick explanation, for example, I’m checking my bank balance so I can recharge the prepaid meter. This should minimise the annoyance your partner might feel about your screen time, imagining you are scrolling rather than spending time with them.

    Also, social media breeds comparison, it sets impossible standards that are not real.
    For example, I get embarassed when I do a birthday post or a gratitude post for my partner when he doesn’t respond. What will people think, is this a one sided relationship?
    But the truth is he is not on social media much, so I have to tell him to go and look at what I wrote.
    And if he wants to show me his appreciation he will make me something with his hands, or show up with a chocolate.

    Social media is the equivalent of public displays of affection, which we all crave, but that doesn’t make it real, it can be quite the opposite in fact!
    You see people gushing over their partner and separated the next day. Its performance and not reality.

    So set some rules of engagement, some healthy boundaries, and communicate more. It will go a long way in your relationship.

    I am a life coach and wellness coach, with a special interest in relationships and woman empowerment. You can book a session with me on WhatsApp 0833613255